Love Is a Bad Investment

My name is Sam Carver, and I am an unapologetic pragmatist.

I don't waste energy on internal friction. I don't bleed out over what-ifs. When presented with a fork in the road, I run the numbers, calculate the margins, and pick whatever yields the highest return.

When I was five, my parents called it quits and forced me to choose between them right there in the living room.

My mother: unemployed, chronic gambler, account balance sitting at a grand total of forty-two dollars and sixteen cents.