The Checklist Wife Lost Her Game

My wife once told me that marrying me was just a box she had to check for her parents.

Now that we had a child, the job was done.

"Don't touch me anymore," she’d said. "If you have needs, take care of them elsewhere."

She spoke with the flat, calm indifference of someone deciding what to order for lunch.

I asked her, "Are you serious?"

She rolled over. "When have I ever joked with you?"

I held it in for two months.

Eventually, I actually paid to go somewhere else.

But when I came back, she was blocking the doorway.

"You actually went? What do you take me for?"