Chapter 1

1: 1

After Mom died, before Dad had even finished with the funeral, he brought the other woman home.

She cradled her belly, put on a delicate little cry, and said seeing me was bad for the baby.

My father turned right around, packed me up, and put me on a rusty green train headed somewhere I didn't know.

"Three people in this house is just right. Your mom has a sister. Go find her."

By the time I got off that train, I'd already braced myself for scavenging in the streets.

My aunt had married far away to the rural Midwest when she was young, and we'd never once met.

I'd heard she had a son of her own about to sit for the SATs. What time would she have for me?

But the moment I stepped out of the station, there was my aunt with a whole crowd of family behind her.

My northern grandmother pressed a thick stack of hundreds straight into my hand, her voice loud and bright.

"What are you standing there for? Take it, buy yourself some snacks. Anybody dares bully you, Grandma Delgado'll whack them with her cane."

And my aunt broke through the crowd and pulled me into her arms.

"From now on I'm your real mama. My sister didn't leave me much, but she left me you. I've got to keep you safe for her."

My six-foot-three uncle hunched his neck and nodded like a scared little bird.

"Whatever my wife says goes. That goose stew's gonna cook to mush if we wait, so let's all get in the car."

My cousin, all fierce scowl, grabbed my suitcase and chucked it in the trash.

"This thing's older than I am. What are you keeping it for? Tomorrow your real mama's taking you shopping."

I froze where I stood, and my eyes, dry for so long, suddenly broke like a dam.

So it turned out I wasn't one too many after all?

……

"You silly girl, what are you standing there like a lump for? Tears all over your face, the wind's gonna chap your skin raw in a minute."

My aunt lifted a hand and gently wiped the tears off my face, her eyes full of ache for me.

She looked so much like Mom that for a while I couldn't tell where I was.

My cousin grabbed a half-melted popsicle and shoved it right up to my mouth.

"Kids up here all look like little porcelain dolls, and here you are, skinny as a dried-up green bean."

My aunt smacked him across the back of the head.

"Will Delgado, that any way to talk to your sister? Asking to get whacked?"

Then she turned back and softened her voice to coax me.

"Don't be scared, Clemmie, he's just running his mouth. Ignore him. Get in, we're going home."

She tucked me into the back seat of the Range Rover, my aunt and grandmother on either side of me, each holding one of my hands.

Once she was in the car, the more my aunt thought about it, the angrier she got.

"That dog Barret Dickerson, off gallivanting God knows where when my sister passed."

"And now look. Just tosses the kid on a train, too cheap to even spring for a sleeper ticket."

"He'd better watch out my sister doesn't come back for him from the grave. He'll get what's coming to him sooner or later."

I went stiff at once, pressed my knees tighter together, and started apologizing on reflex.

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

"I won't take up any space, I eat very little, and I can work too, I won't be any trouble to you."

After Mom died, this was how I'd always curled into a corner. As long as I looked obedient, I got hit a little less.

My uncle stamped hard on the brake and looked at me in the rearview mirror, aching for me.

The car went silent all at once.

My aunt turned around and pulled me into her arms.

"My poor silly girl, what are you apologizing for?"

She smelled of the same laundry soap as Mom, and I couldn't stop the memory of the night before I left.

The other woman sat on the sofa, not even lifting her eyelids, cutting the clothes my mom had bought me to pieces, one by one.

"The doctor said unstable moods during pregnancy are bad for the baby. A little stress relief is good for its development."

Dad stood right there, said nothing, and just smiled and handed her the clothes one at a time.

My aunt patted my back, over and over, her voice rough.

"We're home now. There won't be any more of that hurt again."

The car finally stopped in front of a little house with a yard.

The yard was planted with all kinds of vegetables, and there was a grape trellis too.

Grandma hopped out, all delight, and shooed a bunch of fuzzy little things out of the yard.

Baby chicks, baby ducks, and one little piglet grunting away.

"Come here, girl. These are all for you to play with. Grandma's raising them to keep you company."

My cousin waggled his eyebrows at me with a wicked grin.

"Go on and play. Play with them and they won't say a peep."

"Just remember, come New Year's, of the ten dishes on your table, eight of them are your little playmates."

Once my uncle parked, he lifted the lid off the big iron pot in the yard, and the smell of meat spread out all at once.

"Goose stew's done, perfect timing, let's crack it open and eat. Go wash your hands."

In that rising cloud of steam, the nerves I'd kept tight for so long finally loosened, just a little.