Chapter 2

The day after Nora was discharged, I went back to work.

When I dropped her off at preschool, she held on to my hand.

"Mommy, don't forget to pick me up today."

I crouched down.

"I won't."

Only then did she follow her teacher inside.

My boss handed the project files back to me.

"Client meeting this afternoon. Pick her up yourself."

I'd barely sat down when a message came in from my dad.

Would it be okay to come see Nora tonight? If it's not convenient, never mind.

I looked at it for a moment, then replied.

After seven.

That night, he really did hold himself back.

He knocked before coming in.

He didn't touch Nora.

When she wouldn't drink the soup he'd made, he tasted a spoonful himself.

"Too salty."

He carried it away without a single word about her being spoiled.

While I was bathing her, Nora suddenly asked, "Mommy."

"Has Grandpa turned good now?"

My hand stopped where it was toweling her hair.

"Maybe."

Once I'd said it, even I let out a breath.

I wanted him to have really understood what he'd done, too.

The next day, he came again.

Nora was bent over the table, drawing a rabbit.

My dad watched for a while.

"Let Grandpa have a look?"

Nora hugged the drawing to her chest and leaned toward me.

I knew right away something was off.

Sure enough, the smile on his face thinned.

"How much longer are you going to hide from me?"

I frowned.

"Dad."

He acted like he hadn't heard.

"I quit the card games, I found the shoe, and now I have to ask you before I even come over."

"What else do you want me to do?"

"She's scared of you. She's not punishing you."

The words shot out of him. "Then what's the point of any of it?"

I looked at him.

The little bit of softness I'd just felt was gone in an instant.

So all along, everything he'd done had been him waiting to be paid back.

In his eyes, everything he did was supposed to make Nora like him again right away.

She took another step back, behind me.

That step clearly stung him.

"I don't believe she's really this afraid of me."

He reached straight out.

Nora screamed, "No!"

I put myself in front of her.

"Don't push her."

"I'm her own grandfather!"

He went around me to grab her.

I clamped a hand on his arm.

"Dad!"

He shook me off in irritation.

The pull sent me stumbling back, and my arm scraped hard across the raised metal edge of the entryway cabinet.

The pain made me suck in a breath.

When I looked down, blood was already running.

Nora burst into tears on the spot.

My dad froze too.

He grabbed for tissues.

"How is it so deep?"

"Go to the hospital."

His hand shook as he pressed the tissue down.

That panic didn't look fake.

The anger in my chest had barely eased when his brow was already knitting.

"But I really didn't use any force just now."

"You just didn't keep your footing."

I stared at him for two seconds.

The blood hadn't stopped, and he was already busy proving this had nothing to do with him.

I pulled my hand back out of his.

Nora clung to my leg, crying.

"Is it because I wouldn't let Grandpa hug me that he hurt you?"

My heart clenched hard.

But my dad rushed to say, "Who hurt her? I never pushed anyone!"

I couldn't stand to hear another word.

I pulled the door open.

"Go."

"Gladys——"

"I said go!"

He stood there a few seconds, then finally left.

After the door closed, Nora kept staring at the gauze on my hand.

A long while passed before she said quietly, "Mommy."

"From now on, if Grandpa wants to hug me, I won't hide."

I looked at her at once.

"Why?"

She pointed at my hand.

"Then you won't bleed."

My throat closed up.

In that instant, I suddenly thought of myself at four years old.

That night my dad told me to sit by the door and not run off.

And I really didn't run.

The corner store closed, and I still didn't leave.

Someone offered to take me to her house, and I still shook my head.

Because Daddy had said to wait.

When I was little, the grown-ups all praised me for being so good.

Only now do I understand how terrifying it is for a four-year-old to be forced into being that good.

I crouched down and held Nora.

"No."

She looked at me through her tears.

"What?"

"If you're scared, you hide."

"If you don't want someone to hug you, you say no."

I stroked her head.

"Mommy getting hurt is not your fault."

The next afternoon, my aunt came.