Chapter 1

While shopping for our wedding jewelry, my fiance, Xavier Shepherd, buys two pieces so that my sister, Abigail Young, can get the first pick, as always.

One is a pink diamond necklace that he tracks down across three cities before winning at auction for a fortune. The other is a cheap black brooch that comes free with the necklace.

It doesn't even go with my wedding dress.

For the first time, I point to the necklace before my sister can. "Can I choose first this time?"

Xavier ruffles my hair.

"Abigail has always liked being first. If she can't have what she wants, she'd rather have nothing at all," he says. "You're not picky. Whatever's left will do."

I say nothing. An empty feeling settles in my chest.

I've known Xavier for 20 years. Whenever I'm with him, I'm always the one who gets my sister's leftovers.

Whenever he cuts up a watermelon in the summer, he would always serve Abigail the first slice.

She would always choose the reddest, seedless piece from the center. Then, he would hand me the slice closest to the rind that's ridden with seeds.

"This one's ripe too. It's not as sweet, but it'll do."

When he buys a new car, Abigail gets the first pick again. She takes the front passenger seat because it's the least likely to make her carsick.

Xavier gestures toward the back. "It's a little cramped back there, but either seat is yours."

Later on, I realize that his love is no different.

He loves Abigail, but she chooses her academic career and dreams over him.

With her gone, he switches sights and confesses to me instead.

To him, I have always been the second choice.

I stare at the black brooch and push it away.

"You can have them both, Abigail. I don't want it either."

I'm done settling for her hand-me-downs.

Chapter 1

"Wanda, cheap accessories like these would never suit Abigail," Xavier Shepherd said with a weary sigh.

I stared at him. "Then, why would they suit me?"

He paused, then gave me a helpless smile.

"When you two were kids, everyone used to say you were her shadow. The pink diamond is too flashy for you. Black suits you better. It doesn't demand attention."

Abigail Young's shadow.

That was what everyone had called me for ten years.

My sister and I were twins, but I could never measure up to her.

At school, she was always at the top of her class. I would stay up late and study until my eyes burned, but I could never rise above average.

"You're twins. How did you end up being so stupid?" Mom asked. "Forget it. It's enough that one child in this family is smart."

I was always trailing after Abigail, carrying her bag and peeling apples for her.

I'd told Xavier countless times that I hated that nickname. He would always apologize and say he wouldn't call me that again, but whenever Abigail was around, he would fall right back into it.

I looked at Xavier calmly. "Let's break up."

He stared at me for a moment, then smiled as if he was humoring a child.

"Alright. If you don't like the brooch, we'll pick something else out. Did you really have to say that? Let's head to the mall, and you can find something you like. Okay?"

Abigail pushed the pink diamond necklace toward me. "Take my necklace. You're getting married soon. You're not a kid anymore. Quit being stubborn."

"No, I picked that necklace out for you," Xavier said, stopping her. "Such a thing wouldn't suit Wanda. Giving it to her would just be a waste."

Despite saying I could pick out whatever I wanted, he had already chosen that necklace for Abigail.

Xavier put an arm around my shoulders and led me outside.

As soon as we reached the first floor of the mall, Abigail said she wanted to look at a newly released perfume.

Xavier immediately nodded. "Let's have a look at the perfume first. I'll get you your gift after that. There's no rush."

It was always like this.

Abigail spent a long time trying on perfumes at the counter. She liked two bottles, but she couldn't decide between them.

Xavier noticed her hesitation.

"Just get both. Pick one to use first, and give the other to Wanda. If you feel like using the other one, you can switch with her."

After paying, he handed me the bottles of perfume. "Now you don't have to choose a gift anymore. Abigail's got good taste. You should be happy with these."

I didn't take them.

I looked at the perfume bottles, and the irony hit me.

I thought I was supposed to be the one choosing.

"I'll head back and move my things out of your apartment. I won't be coming back."

Xavier's hand froze in midair. For the first time, he looked like he was taking me seriously. "Don't do this, Wanda."

That night, he called my parents over.

The moment Mom entered the house, she poked at my temple. "Have you lost your mind? Why are you talking about breaking up? What makes you think you're good enough for Xavier?

"You're average-looking and dim-witted. If your sister hadn't been busy with her career, do you really think you'd have had a chance?"

My temple throbbed.

I had heard those words way too many times. Every single word felt familiar.

I was stupid. I was ugly. I was never as good as Abigail.

Xavier stepped in front of me and tried to smooth things over.

"Don't say that, Mr. and Mrs. Young. Wanda's the best. She definitely has a chance with me."

Mom immediately looked at him with approval.

"Just look at him defending you. Where are you ever going to find someone this good again?" she nagged. "If you break up with him, you're not my daughter anymore."

Right. Xavier was such a good man. I should've been grateful.

I took a deep breath and muttered, "Okay."

Everyone finally relaxed. It was as if the disobedient child had finally learned to behave.

I went back to my room.

I called my friend, Julie Davidson, as tears silently fell down my face.

"Julie, can I come work at your pottery studio?"

"Aren't you getting married soon? Will they let you come over?" she asked cautiously.

I looked out at the night beyond the window and suddenly smiled.

"What do you think about me running away from my wedding in a week?"

Chapter 2

Julie was in disbelief.

In her eyes, I had always been the good daughter. I was the obedient one—the one who never complained or fought back.

Running away from my wedding was the last thing anyone would've expected from me.

But if I stopped being obedient, would anyone still love me?

Growing up, Abigail had always been in the spotlight. Everyone was drawn to her.

I tried desperately to reach her. The only way I could get Xavier or my parents to notice me was by doing exactly what I was told.

But I didn't want to be obedient anymore.

…

The next day, Xavier took me to see the house we were going to renovate for our wedding.

I headed toward the passenger seat, but he held me back. "Silly girl. That's Abigail's seat."

Abigail appeared at that moment. Xavier opened the passenger door for her.

"Abigail's thinking about buying a house too. She's coming with us to take a look."

I silently sat in the back. "Sure."

Our house was a small detached villa. Abigail's eyes lit up the moment she saw our bedroom.

"The lighting is perfect. It's just the right humidity. It would be a great place to grow the experimental strains I've developed."

Xavier stood beside her. "You can stay here whenever you want since you like this room. I'll have the company's best designer redo it for you."

I stood at the doorway.

When we bought the house, Xavier never got involved in anything. He didn't care where we bought it or how it was decorated.

"A house is a house," he would say. "As long as it's livable."

Now, however, he was standing beside Abigail while planning the room's design with her. They looked like a real newlywed couple.

Abigail looked over her shoulder at me. "Wanda, do you mind if I take this room?"

I turned to Xavier. "You do know this was supposed to be our bedroom, right?"

His expression remained calm. "It's just a bedroom. The cultures aren't going to adapt to a different room on their own. You can have the other rooms."

I slowly unclenched my hand.

"You're my sister. Take whichever room you want," I told Abigail.

Xavier patted my head. "That's a good girl."

By the time we finished touring the house, the bridal boutique had called Xavier. All three of my wedding dresses were ready.

Abigail slipped her arm through mine. "Come on, Wanda. I'll help you with your dresses."

She really did look like the perfect older sister.

While I was halfway through trying them on, her phone rang. She let out a troubled frown.

"The gown I was supposed to wear to an important dinner fell through. I can't find another one in time."

"You can get one here," Xavier said.

He glanced around the boutique, but none of the dresses seemed good enough for him. In the end, his eyes settled on the reception dress I was wearing.

"This color looked good on Abigail. She should have it."

"Mr. Shepherd, Ms. Wanda has been back here more than 30 times for this dress. She even revised the design herself," the sales assistant spoke up. "Besides, no bride wants to wear a secondhand dress."

Xavier looked at me as if the answer were obvious.

He didn't think there was anything wrong with his request. If Abigail wanted something, she would get it.

I pressed a hand to my chest. It didn't hurt as much as it did before.

I changed out of the dress and handed it to Abigail. "It's fine. The dress will look even better on you."

Surprise crossed Xavier's face. Then, his expression softened. "You're such a good girl, Wanda. I'll help you find something even better."

But once Abigail had changed into the dress, he couldn't take his eyes off her. He crouched down and carefully smoothed out every wrinkle on her skirt.

I used to imagine him doing that for me.

I'd been here more than 30 times, yet he had only come with me once.

The sales assistant smiled and said it would be romantic if Xavier helped me with my dress.

"That's so pretentious. We've paid for the service. Isn't that what the staff are for?" he replied without even looking up.

The sight of him kneeling at Abigail's feet finally made me realize the price of that fantasy.

Ever since we were kids, everyone had always preferred Abigail. My parents did. And so did Xavier.

Yet I still couldn't stop loving him.

He was the only one who secretly slipped me a piece of candy when my parents would scold me for being stupid and say, "You're still cute, even if you're a little dumb."

I hid my feelings deep inside.

One day, he confessed his feelings to Abigail. She had told him that she only cared about her career.

Devastated, he confessed to me instead.

I knew he was only acting out of hurt, but I said yes anyway.

I stayed by his side and became his assistant even though I loved art more. I studied the complicated data and confusing documents he cared about in an attempt to become more like Abigail.

But no matter how hard I tried, I could never be like her. Xavier would never love me.

My phone buzzed. "The pottery studio's ready. When are you coming over?"

By then, Abigail had already changed out of her dress.

Xavier casually picked up a black dress and handed it to me.

"Hurry up and pick one. Abigail has something else to attend to. Don't keep her waiting. I think this dress works. It's simple and elegant. It suits you."

Black again. The color I hated the most.

I lowered my head and replied to Julie's message, "On my wedding day. I told you that's when I was going to run away."

Chapter 3

When we returned to my parents' house for dinner that night, I realized it was Abigail's and my birthday.

Xavier had picked out our cake. "Since you two share a birthday, we only need one cake. It makes things easy."

The cake was beautiful, but there were big chunks of mango visible in the filling.

Abigail loved mango, but I was allergic to it. No one seemed to think that was a problem, however.

Xavier was busy lighting the candles and putting a birthday hat on Abigail.

"Abigail gets to make a wish first."

I stared at the mango cake, then at the birthday hat on her head. Then, my gaze landed on Xavier's gentle smile.

"You used to make sure there were two of everything. Why is there only one cake now?" I asked. "Why am I always the one who goes second?"

The living room went quiet.

Xavier frowned. "We've always done it this way. Why are you acting up today?"

Mom glared at me too. "Abigail's the older sister. Besides, she's better than you in every way. Obviously, she should go first. If you were even half as capable as she is, I'd let you blow out the candles first."

I was at a loss for words.

Abigail started making her wish.

The whole family gathered around her and sang "Happy Birthday".

By the time it was my turn to make a wish, the candles were almost gone.

Xavier glanced at them and said, "There aren't any extra candles. It's just a wish. You can do it next year."

20 years.

Every year, he told me to make a wish the following year.

But I never got to make that wish.

Was a child who wasn't good enough not worthy of love?

I quietly watched them cut the cake. My mind was elsewhere.

Somehow, the conversation turned to the wedding.

"How are the wedding plans coming along?" Mom asked suddenly.

Before I could answer, she turned to Xavier. "Xavier, aren't all the guests you invited from your business circle? Abigail just launched her new experimental product. This would be the perfect opportunity for her to promote it during the wedding."

Xavier didn't hesitate for even a second. He smiled and nodded. "Sure. We'll cut the part where the host talks about how Wanda and I met so Abigail can introduce her product instead."

"We don't have to cut that out. I'll just say a few words so I won't take the spotlight away from Wanda."

Xavier's expression turned serious. "How could we do that? If you're going to pitch your product, you should do it properly. Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

The three of them talked excitedly about where to set up the display booth, when Abigail should go onstage, and whether they needed banners.

This was supposed to be my wedding, but they were turning it into a product showcase. No one had even bothered to ask me what I thought.

Fortunately, the wedding wasn't going to happen anyway.

The room was suffocating, so I headed back to my room.

Xavier and my parents waited in the living room for the live broadcast of the national competition Abigail had joined. The results were coming out tonight.

Everyone stared nervously at the screen. They were barely even breathing.

Meanwhile, I was upstairs packing up my things.

There wasn't much worth taking. In the end, all I took was my sketchbook from the back of the drawer. It was filled with drawings I had made when I was a child.

Abigail had taken first place in the competition.

A cheer suddenly erupted outside my room. I heard laughter, applause, and excited shouting from the living room.

Then, I heard Abigail's spoiled complaint.

"The award ceremony is on the same day as Wanda's wedding. None of you can come with me. This is such an important moment for me, and I'll be there all by myself. What a waste."

Chapter 4

The living room fell silent for a moment.

Then, I heard Xavier say, "You won't be alone."

There was a knock on my door.

Xavier stood at the doorway.

"Wanda, Abigail's award ceremony is something she'll only experience once in her lifetime. It really matters to her," he began cautiously. "Why don't we move our wedding to the evening?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

How many weddings did a person even get in their lifetime?

"Who holds a wedding at night? Only second marriages are held at night," the housekeeper muttered.

Mom immediately scolded her, "That's nonsense! You're young. Don't believe in pointless superstitions."

Xavier looked at me with a firm expression. "Are you okay with that, Wanda? I know how understanding you are."

I met his gaze.

Suddenly, memories of when I was younger hit me.

Back then, I had finally won an award in a drawing competition and was excited for my parents to come watch me receive it. But they said Abigail's speech competition was more important and went to watch her compete instead.

Xavier pitied me. "Don't worry. I'll definitely be there when you receive your award."

In the end, he went to Abigail's speech competition too.

I stood alone on the stage while everyone else's parents cheered.

Years later, I was still alone.

"Sure. I'm fine with it. Let's move the wedding to the evening."

After all, it didn't matter when the wedding was held if it wasn't really for me.

Once they got the answer they wanted, they started celebrating. Laughter filled the living room.

By the end of the night, Xavier was drunk.

They said that drunken words were sober thoughts.

I looked into his dazed eyes and blurted, "Xavier, are you looking forward to our wedding?"

He didn't answer.

The wind slipped between us.

"Then, why did you confess to me? Why did you choose to be with me?"

I knew he did it just to spite Abigail, but I wanted to hear him say it himself.

His voice was slurred with alcohol.

"Just finding someone who's even half as much like her is the best I could hope for," he rambled. "Besides, you're her sister. Being with you means I can still see her…"

The wind stung my eyes.

By the time I realized it, I had already run out of tears.

The truth was far crueler than I expected.

…

On the day of the wedding, the house was already bustling before sunrise. None of it was for my wedding, though.

They were picking out outfits, doing their makeup, and planning how to get to Abigail's awards ceremony.

I walked out of my room, fully dressed. "I'm going to skip the award ceremony. I still have things to take care of for the wedding."

Xavier didn't even look up. He was busy making sure Abigail had everything she needed.

"Sure, go ahead. Don't keep the guests waiting."

I picked up a small bag and left the house.

Then, I headed straight to the airport.

As my car pulled away, I saw Xavier's car in the rearview mirror. My family happily got into it and left for Abigail's award ceremony.

…

The ceremony lasted for four hours.

Meanwhile, four hours later, I had landed in South City.

My phone buzzed. It was a message from Xavier.

"Wanda, since the wedding isn't until tonight, let's skip the pre-wedding stuff. I'll head over later. Abigail won't be able to handle things on her own. You can head to the hotel first, okay?"

I stared at the message for a long time.

Then, I blocked him and put my phone away.

Julie came over and hugged me. "Let's go."

Meanwhile, after the awards ceremony had ended, Xavier and the others rushed to the wedding venue.

When they arrived, everything was a mess.

A friend grabbed Xavier's arm.

"Didn't you say the bride would be here first? Why hasn't she shown up yet?"

Xavier froze.

The wedding planner spotted him and hurried over. "Mr. Shepherd, we haven't been able to reach the bride."