Chapter 2

That day I dropped my favorite vase.

Julian saw the pieces on the floor and told the housekeeper to clean it up. But that vase was one we'd made together in the Cotswolds, the year we were most in love. He'd said with a straight face that it was going to be a family heirloom.

"Let me put it back together."

I crouched down with my hands shaking and tried to match the fragments. He frowned and pulled me up. "It's just a vase."

My eyes went hot. He glanced at my stomach. "Baby acting up again?"

I told myself he was like this with everything, that not caring about keepsakes was just who he was.

But that night when I brought fruit to his study I saw a locked display case on the shelf. Inside, under glass, was a ballpoint pen. The kind you get for a few dollars at any campus shop. Clara had given it to him.

It was like having cold water dumped over my head.

We had our worst fight. I broke the case open and threw the pen in the trash but he picked it up like it was something precious. When he looked at me his eyes were full of impatience.

"Look at yourself, Sienna. You sound unhinged."

"You broke the vase yourself. What exactly are you blaming me for?"

I told him to swear to me that he hadn't fallen for her. If he had, I said, neither of them would come to any good.

Julian, a man who'd never believed in anything he couldn't prove, actually hesitated. After a long pause he finally spoke.

"You're right. I did fall for her."

"But we haven't crossed any lines and we won't. You don't need to act like the world is ending."

I couldn't stop the tears. He sighed and reached over to smooth my hair back.

"Sienna, we've been together eleven years. There's nothing left to surprise me."

"To be blunt, kissing you feels like going through the motions."

"Sometimes I even regret it, getting married so young, going abroad right after we turned eighteen. I didn't know back then that I'd feel this way about someone else ten years later."

The same man who once set off fireworks across the whole city just to make me smile was now standing over me and talking about his feelings for another woman like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Clara's different. She's light. She doesn't carry herself the way you do."

"She likes doing silly things. Watches those cheesy romance movies. Stops to feed stray cats on the street."

"You like all those same things. But when she does them I can't help it. She gets to me."

When he was done he lit a cigarette and his voice turned gentle and cruel at the same time.

"The title of Mrs. Thorne is yours for as long as you want it. But you're going to have to accept that she's the only one in my heart."

After that night I fell apart slowly and steadily. I cried until my eyes swelled shut every morning.

I tried to go numb. I tried not to notice when he came home late, tried not to care about the missed prenatal appointments, tried not to think about him taking her to Hawaii.

But I was only lying to myself.

Then today he knelt in front of me in front of everyone and asked me to give Clara my heart. He was even willing to give up our baby at six months to make it happen.

I looked at this marriage and realized there was nothing left in it.