Chapter 1

I have asthma, but Mom still forces me to take part in freshman orientation drills just to avoid accusations of favoritism.

As I stand at attention in the 95-degree heat, my lips start turning blue. With no other choice, I raise a trembling hand.

"Ms. Horton, I don't feel well—"

Before I can finish, Roxanne Horton, the instructor leading our drills, coldly slaps my hand down.

"Only half an hour in, and you're already faking sick to get out of training? And you have the nerve to lie to my face? Is this how your parents raised you?"

Mom stands just a few feet away. As the dean of Hawthorne College, she immediately feels humiliated and turns to glare at me.

"Everyone else is holding up just fine. You're the only one demanding special treatment," she snaps. "No daughter of mine would act like this. You'll stand here alone for another hour. Let's see how long you keep up this act."

But I'm already struggling to breathe. My legs give way beneath me, and I collapse to the ground, clutching my throat as my face turns purplish-red.

Before everything fades to black, I reach a trembling hand out toward Mom.

"My inhaler… Help me…"

But Mom's expression hardens. She turns away and lets my hand drop limply back into the dirt.

"You've barely been standing for half an hour, and you're already pretending to have an asthma attack? Do you think I got to be dean by falling for every ridiculous lie?" She scoffs. "Get up right now. Stop embarrassing yourself!"

When Roxanne realizes that I still haven't moved, she flies into a rage. She grabs the back of my collar and tries to haul me upright.

By then, though, I'm already drifting upward, hovering above them.

Looking down at Mom's cold, disappointed face, I twist the sweat-soaked hem of my shirt, overcome with shame.

I'm sorry, Mom. I'll never be the daughter you can be proud of.

Chapter 1

Roxanne Horton, the drill instructor hired for orientation week, grabbed me by the collar and tried to haul me up with all her strength.

But no matter how many times she tried, my limp body kept slipping from her grasp and collapsing back onto the pavement. She couldn't lift me at all.

My classmates nearby couldn't bear to watch any longer, and one of them discreetly nudged me.

"Isabelle, Ms. Horton and Ms. Sheldon are really angry right now. Stop being so stubborn and get up already."

But I still didn't move. My lips had already turned from purplish-red to a sickly bluish-white.

That only made Roxanne angrier. She flung my limp body to the ground like a rag doll.

"You're really testing my limits! Since you love putting on a show so much, keep it up! You'll lie right there for three full hours—not one second less!"

By then, the pavement was pushing 140 degrees. It was hot enough to cook an egg, let alone scorch human skin.

The side of my face and my arms were pressed against the scorching pavement, and within seconds, my skin began to blister from the heat. It was a gruesome sight.

Yet all I could do was hover above my body, frantic and helpless.

Class president Natalie Clifford and I had always gotten along well. Seeing me like that, she couldn't help but step forward.

"Ms. Horton, Isabelle Sheldon really does have a preexisting condition. What if she's actually passed out? The ground is scorching. No one would lie on it just to pretend to be sick!"

Roxanne only shot her an icy glare. "Ms. Sheldon is such a strong and capable woman. How did she end up with a daughter who's so weak and useless? Even if she does have some medical condition, there's no way it would flare up after only half an hour of standing."

She scoffed. "She's just using her status as the dean's daughter to demand special treatment. Now that she isn't getting her way, she's throwing a tantrum and playing dead!"

I froze in midair, swallowed whole by shame.

After my parents divorced, Mom devoted herself to my education, supporting me every step of the way as she worked her way up from elementary school principal to college dean.

She said she would give me anything I wanted. But at school, she never let me forget that she was the dean before she was my mother and couldn't show me any favoritism.

I took that to heart. No matter how well I did at whatever school she ran, I never sought attention or asked for special treatment.

I became the well-behaved, sensible daughter everyone praised.

But now, I was so useless that I had embarrassed her in front of the entire freshman class.

The kind-hearted Natalie saw that Roxanne wouldn't listen, so she turned to Mom instead.

"Ms. Sheldon, she's your daughter," Natalie pleaded. "Shouldn't you take her to see a doctor?"

With so many people watching, Mom put on the same impartial expression she always wore.

"She's my daughter, which is exactly why she needs a firmer hand! The rest of you have been standing out here just as long, and not one of you has complained. Why is she the only one who can't handle it?"

"I hired Ms. Horton because she's the strictest and most capable instructor this college could find," she declared sternly. "She's here to toughen every one of you up, and my daughter is no exception! Anyone else who speaks up for her will stand at attention for an extra hour!"

Everyone glanced up at the merciless sun, and no one dared say another word.

Mom crouched in front of me, disgust written all over her face, and slapped me hard across the face. "Get up right now and stop embarrassing yourself!"

Chapter 2

I hovered in midair, completely at a loss.

Time and again, I tried to get back into my body, desperate to make my limp frame stand upright like my classmates, but it was all in vain.

When I still didn't respond, Mom, who had always cared deeply about her image, felt even more humiliated. Finally, she snapped and kicked me hard several times.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" she shrieked. "Just because you came in first but didn't get the Outstanding Freshman Award, you picked a moment like this to humiliate me and get back at me?"

Her words grew even harsher. "When your dad and I divorced, why did I fight so hard to keep a scheming, vicious, worthless brat like you?"

The entire field fell deathly silent, as if everyone present could hear the shattered pieces of my heart hitting the ground.

I wanted so badly to tell Mom that I really had tried.

Back then, Dad was determined to get a divorce. Mom was just a housewife, and he forced her to leave the marriage with nothing.

Yet when it came to custody, she didn't hesitate for a second. She chose to keep me and had me take her last name.

To support me, she went back to work and became a professor. Juggling her job and raising me on her own, she worked her way up and eventually became a well-respected college dean.

Only I had witnessed the countless nights she broke down in helpless tears after suffering setbacks at work or seeing me lying in a hospital bed.

That was why I did everything I could to lighten her load and protect her reputation for fairness.

When I first enrolled, I was the top-ranked freshman. But to keep anyone from accusing her of favoritism, she asked me to give up the Outstanding Freshman Award to a student in financial need. I agreed.

When an opportunity came up to study abroad as an exchange student, I was the most qualified candidate by every measure. But she used my asthma as an excuse, saying she would worry if I went overseas.

Then she gave the spot to the child of one of her subordinates and even used my scholarship money to pay for their airfare.

Each time, I simply went along with it until I grew numb, as though none of those honors had ever been mine to begin with.

But moments ago, all I wanted was my inhaler.

When I still didn't move, Roxanne grew exasperated, grabbed me by the collar, and hauled me up.

"Your mom is a woman I've always admired, but you're such a disappointment! You can't even stand at attention without trying to weasel your way out of it. After everything Ms. Sheldon went through to get where she is today, how can you even look her in the eye?"

"I'm giving you one last chance," she snapped. "Get up right now, and stop bringing shame to your mom! Otherwise, every minute you spend lying there is another minute your classmates have to stand out here with you!"

But no matter how hard she shook me, I didn't respond.

When she saw that I still wasn't moving, Mom's rage boiled over. She kicked me square in the chest. "Faking sick wasn't enough, so now you're playing dead? Get up right now! Don't make me get even rougher with you!"

My classmates were losing their patience too.

"Isabelle, that's enough. Get up already, and stop dragging the rest of us into this."

"Thank God Ms. Sheldon doesn't play favorites, or you'd have us stuck out here all day!"

"It must be nice getting to lie down while the rest of us have to stand. How can you be so selfish?"

I circled anxiously above them, filled with hurt and frustration.

I was already dead. Why wouldn't a single one of them believe me?

When I still didn't so much as twitch, Mom lost what little composure she had left and pointed at the heavy metal manhole cover at the edge of the field.

"She likes lying around in the heat, doesn't she? Carry her over there and put her on it. Let's see how long she can keep this act up!"

Chapter 3

The manhole cover Mom pointed at shimmered in the heat, drawing a sharp gasp from everyone on the field.

The pavement was already at 140 degrees, so the metal had to be well over 160. At that temperature, bare skin could suffer burns in as little as a second. A few seconds more, and flesh could practically cook.

Mom's eyes were bloodshot, blazing with anger and bitter disappointment.

When all my classmates froze in fear, she took matters into her own hands, grabbing a fistful of my hair and dragging me toward the manhole cover.

"You're already trying to get special treatment during orientation. What kind of stunt are you going to pull once classes actually start? If you don't get up and admit you were wrong, then you can stay on that manhole cover until you die!"

My skin was already badly burned, and being dragged across the ground tore it open, leaving a gruesome trail of blood behind me.

The male instructors leading the neighboring groups were shocked by what was happening and rushed over to stop her.

"Ms. Sheldon, it's far too hot to drag a student across the ground like that. She could get hurt. If she really isn't feeling well, there's no harm in letting her rest for a while."

Mom's gaze remained icy as she snapped, "I'm doing this for her own good! If she gets special treatment just because she's my daughter, she'll start expecting it everywhere she goes. How will she ever amount to anything?"

Right. For my own good.

Every time Mom gave away something that should have been mine—just to keep anyone from accusing her of favoritism—she used those exact words.

Over time, I came to realize that she would never be in my corner. So I went along with it, making myself even more obedient and swallowing every grievance in silence.

But if I couldn't lean on her, who else could I turn to?

Too bad I was already dead and would never get an answer.

Roxanne glared at the male instructors, making no attempt to hide the contempt on her face.

"You're all too softhearted. The moment you see a little blood, you lose your nerve and back down. That's why the students walk all over you, and why none of you have ever won Instructor of the Year the way I have."

"As a single mother, Ms. Sheldon and I see eye to eye when it comes to education," Roxanne said self-righteously. "It takes blood and sweat to forge a will of steel, especially for women. If you keep interfering, you're underestimating what women are capable of!"

The men froze and reluctantly swallowed their objections. She had backed them into a corner with her self-righteous moralizing, and arguing back would only escalate the situation.

Mom tightened her grip and slammed me down onto the manhole cover.

A sharp sizzle cut through the air as my flesh was pressed against the scorching metal. Several of the more squeamish students covered their mouths and gasped.

"Oh my God, that thing is hot enough to burn someone alive! Why isn't Isabelle moving? What if something's actually wrong with her?"

Roxanne just scoffed. "Why are you panicking? I've trained more freshmen than I can count, and I've seen plenty of stubborn students like her. She cares more about her image than she does about her own life. She knows that if she gets up now, everything she's done so far will have been for nothing.

Fine. Let's see how long she can hold out."

Mom looked at Roxanne with admiration. "You really know how to deal with weak-willed trash like her. I can rest easy knowing these students are in your hands."

Only then did she pull out the inhaler she should have given me long ago and hand it over to Roxanne.

"Don't give it to her until she admits she was wrong. I've spoiled her rotten, and now she needs to be taught a proper lesson. The longer I stay here, the more she'll keep up this helpless act. I'm not going to enable that awful behavior of hers!"

As Mom turned to leave, she didn't notice Roxanne sneer and toss the inhaler into the trash.

"Asthma? Give me a break. She's pretending to be some fragile little invalid to get sympathy. If she were really having an attack, why would she ask for her inhaler once and then go quiet? Because she's faking it. I won't tolerate that kind of weakness in anyone I train."

Then she turned toward the field and barked an order. "Everyone, face this waste of space and stand at attention! Nobody gets to rest until she gets up!"

Chapter 4

That order was the last straw. Every look directed at me shifted from pity to hatred.

It wasn't just my classmates grinding their teeth—the students from the other classes looked ready to kill me too. Even the male instructors who had spoken up for me a minute earlier had gone cold.

In heat like this, everyone wanted to get off their feet as soon as possible.

One of the instructors, Kieran West, came over and tried to reason with me. "Isabelle, you need to have some sense of collective responsibility. More than a thousand freshmen are being forced to stand out here because of you. How can you live with yourself?"

But a second later, Kieran stumbled backward in terror and collapsed to the ground.

"Something's wrong with her!" he yelled. "Half her face looks like it's been cooked! How could she just lie there without moving? What if something's actually happened to her?"

He reached forward to check if I was breathing, but Roxanne barked at him to stop.

"This is why I say you're all pathetic," she said. "She's only playing dead because she knows you'll fall for it. Go on, touch her if you don't believe me. If she were really dead, she'd be cold by now."

Half-convinced, Kieran laid a hand on my arm and found it burning hot.

Instantly, humiliation washed over him. He scrambled to his feet and spat at me.

"And to think we were worried about you! You've got some nerve, pretending to be dead just to scare us. Ms. Sheldon was right. Someone like you needs to be taught a lesson."

The students in the surrounding formations were swept up in the anger, pointing at me and hurling curses.

"Bitch! You're screwing every single one of us over! Get up right now!"

"Ms. Sheldon holds herself to such high standards. How could someone like you possibly be her daughter? You're a disgrace to this entire college!"

"If you don't get up right now, we'll make the next four years a living hell for you!"

Surrounded by their vicious insults, I trembled in midair.

I wanted to get up too. But I was already dead.

Desperate, I drifted to Mom's office. She was inside, making chicken soup in a slow cooker.

A few professors passed the door and teased her.

"Ms. Sheldon, are you making soup to help Isabelle cool down again? She's so lucky to have such a thoughtful mother!"

Mom grumbled indignantly. "And yet she's down there right now, throwing a fit. Half an hour in the sun, and suddenly she's having an asthma attack. I've taken care of her all her life. Does she really think I can't tell when she's faking?"

The professor whose daughter had taken my place in the study-abroad program stepped in to smooth things over.

"Isabelle is sensible. If it weren't for her, my daughter would never have had the chance to go abroad and see the world! I heard that was the country Isabelle had always wanted to visit most, so please don't be too hard on her."

Mom shook her head in disappointment.

"That was her duty. As my daughter, she should understand that. After the scene she's caused today, how could anyone call her sensible?"

An uproar broke out downstairs, drawing the professors to the windows to see what was happening.

When Mom saw students from all over campus swarming around me, a flicker of pain crossed her eyes. Her first instinct was to rush downstairs.

But she stopped at the doorway, held back by something I couldn't fathom.

When the professors heard what the students were accusing me of and finally realized what was happening, the color drained from their faces.

"Ms. Sheldon, Isabelle has been lying on that scorching metal all this time. That's punishment enough. If the entire student body turns against her, how is she supposed to hold her head up around here for the next four years?"

Mom turned her face away. "After the divorce, I raised her on my own while the whole world pointed fingers at me. Lying there for a while and taking a few insults will teach her that special treatment won't get her through life. Otherwise, she'll turn out just like her deadbeat father—irresponsible and selfish."

I stared at the steam rising from the chicken soup, anxious and completely at a loss.

Mom, I wasn't being selfish. I was really dead!

Claire Fletcher, the campus medic, was always professional and composed, but she had heard enough. Realizing that Mom wouldn't budge, she could no longer stand by and ran downstairs herself.

She pushed through the crowd of students surrounding me. The moment she got a clear look at me, her knees nearly gave out.

Her heart sank as she stepped closer and reached down with a trembling hand to check my pulse.

A second later, her scream tore across the field.

"Something's wrong! Call an ambulance!"