Chapter 4

Men aren't the only ones with a lost love they can never forget. I had one too.

Everyone thought I loved Kyle more than my own life. After all, I was the one who pursued him relentlessly in the beginning.

I quit my job and moved across the country to his city. Because of his weak heart, I learned how to brew traditional nourishing broths every single day. Because he loved gaming, I spent months practicing until I became a top-tier player just to play with him.

Because he didn't like my simple, nerdy style, I overhauled my wardrobe into sleek, mature elegance.

I told him I’d go wherever he wanted, and do whatever he asked.

Kyle was guarded at first. My intensity freaked him out. But who turns down a woman throwing herself at his feet with unconditional devotion?

Eventually, under my relentless affection, he caved.

Honestly, he never treated me half as well as I treated him, but he wasn't cruel back then.

Before Gina came back, we had our sweet moments. But the second she reappeared, everything collapsed.

I knew better than anyone how lethal a first love could be.

I had thought about fighting for our marriage, but I gave up.

I couldn't win. I had chased him for a year, and I knew how exhausting it was. He had chased Gina for three years—his obsession ran even deeper.

You always crave what you can't have, and take for granted what's already yours.

That was when reality slapped me in the face: Kyle and Julian were never the same person.

I remembered the day Kyle finally agreed to date me. Right before saying yes, he asked, "How much do you love me?"

I answered without hesitation: "More than anything. Even if the world ends tomorrow, I will love you until my last breath."

When I said those words back then, even I couldn't tell whether I was saying them to Kyle Vance... or Julian Brooks.

In the end, we all pay for the choices we make.

"What do you mean, I'm only the biological father?" Kyle demanded, his voice cracking.

I didn't want to dig up the past for him. It was too long and too painful of a story.

"It doesn't matter. We're getting a divorce. I keep full custody of the baby. I'll take only what I came with; you can keep every single cent of your fortune."

Kyle threw the papers onto the nightstand, dropped to his knees beside my bed, and grabbed my hands.

"I know you're still mad. You hate that Gina came back. But we've made it through so much together! The baby just got here. How are you going to manage on your own? Let's just calm down, please."

"No need," I said, pulling my hands out of his grip. "Sign it. If you don't, I'll take you to court."

My eyes were steady, cold, and dead set.

Seeing my resolve, he stopped begging.

"Fine. I'll sign," he said bitterly. "Just don't come crying back to me when you regret it."

He still clung to his arrogant pride. We had fought before, but he was always the one threatening breakups or divorce.

And back then, I would always run after him, pleading, "I'm sorry, don't leave me," or "I was wrong, please don't divorce me."

He was convinced I would crawl back on my knees within a month. So he signed the papers without a fight.

After all, until the judge finalized the decree, he thought there was still room to reel me back in.