Chapter 1

Timothy Grayson has been frail and sickly since childhood, yet he dreams of fighting on the front lines.

I ask the system to strengthen his life force, and the price is that we exchange each other's pain and wound.

From then on, Timothy fights without fear, knowing someone else is bearing the pain for him. With every battle, he grows bolder and earns countless military honors.

For three years, I bear every bit of his pain alone.

Every time a stray arrow pierces him in battle, the pain is so intense that I nearly bite through my own tongue.

Meanwhile, the only pain Timothy ever gets from me is a dull ache in his lower abdomen for a few days each month and the occasional headache or fever.

I accept it all.

But after meeting Sarah Tucker, Timothy grows increasingly reckless.

Fearing she'd get caught in the rain, he drapes his coat over her. Yet, I spend the entire night suffering through a bone-deep chill.

Sarah is afraid of the dark, so Timothy ventures into a fever swamp to find her a luminous gem. I spend the next three days bedridden, coughing up black blood in his place.

Even after returning home victorious from war, the first thing Timothy says to me is, "Ana, you've endured three years of suffering in my place. I'll never forget what you've done for me. But Sarah is the woman I love. I could never ask her to be my mistress."

That's when I hear the system's voice for the first time in a long while. It says, "Loss of hope detected. Once the death condition is triggered, you may return to the real world."

I nod without a word.

From then on, Timothy and I go our separate ways.

Chapter 1

Anastasia's POV

It was the day the victorious army returned home. I stood atop the city wall, looking down at the crowds that packed the main street, and waited for that familiar figure.

My maid, Edna Fisher, could barely contain her excitement. "Mrs. Grayson, I can see the banners! It's the general!"

I quickly focused on the procession. At the very front rode my husband, Timothy Grayson. His expression was as stern and unreadable as ever.

Then, my gaze fell lower. He was cradling a woman in a white dress in his arms.

I recognized her instantly. It was Sarah Tucker.

My fingers clenched instinctively, and I pressed a hand to my chest. The pain was so sharp that I felt a chill seep through my entire body.

Below, people were already whispering. "Who's that young woman? Why is she riding with General Grayson?"

"I heard she's Ms. Tucker. She stayed with the army and treated the soldiers' wounds. The general's taken quite a liking to her."

Edna's face turned pale with anger when she heard that. "Mrs. Grayson! How could he do this to you? You managed the entire household while he was away, and he—"

Before she could finish, Timothy swung down from his horse and carefully lifted Sarah from the saddle.

I slowly turned away.

With my back to the roaring crowd, I walked down, one step at a time. It felt as though every ounce of strength had been drained from my body.

…

Not long after I returned home, the door to my room swung open.

Timothy stepped inside, still wearing his silver armor. His sharp features hadn't changed a bit. Yet, the first thing he said was, "Ana, I know what you saw."

I remained silent.

He sighed, his voice low as he went on, "Sarah said she didn't know how to break it to you and figured the only way was to let you see for yourself.

"She's innocent, Ana. She doesn't understand how complicated these things are. Don't blame her."

A bitter taste filled my mouth. Would an innocent woman really choose to hurt another woman this deeply?

Timothy's voice softened, and he said, "Ana, you've stayed home all this time, taking care of everything while bearing my pain. I know it hasn't been easy.

"But Sarah stayed with the army. She prepared medicine for the wounded, mended the soldiers' clothes, and kept their spirits up. I can't ignore everything she's done."

I looked up at him. I used to think beneath all his ambition, there was still a place for me. As it turned out, I'd only been fooling myself.

"What is it you want?" I asked.

Timothy paused, then replied gently, "I want to marry Sarah and bring her into this household as your equal, with neither of you above the other."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut.

Suddenly, I remembered our wedding night. He'd lifted my veil, his eyes brimming with tenderness as he looked at me.

Back then, he'd been frail and constantly sick, yet he'd been so full of life.

Timothy had taken my hand, gotten down on his knees before me, and sworn, "I will have only one wife for the rest of my life. My heart will never belong to another. If I ever break this vow, may I rot in hell."

By morning, the candles had burned down to nothing.

It had only been three years.

Just then, I let out a quiet laugh. I wasn't sure whether I was laughing at him or at myself.

"If you want to marry her, you'll have to do it over my dead body," I said.

Timothy furrowed his brow, and the warmth vanished from his eyes. "Ana, why would you say something like that just because you're angry?"

A faint smile tugged at my lips. I hadn't said it out of anger.

For the first time in years, I heard the system speak again. "Your despair has reached the required threshold. Upon your death, you may return to the real world."

Just because Sarah had tagged along with the army, Timothy acted like she'd done something heroic.

But he had forgotten something. Every battle he won, every wound that should have been his to bear, I endured instead.

The dull ache in my chest spread until I could barely breathe.

The pain went both ways. For three years, every headache, fever, and minor ache I'd suffered had barely registered with Timothy. He never gave them a second thought.

But this time, the pain was different.

Timothy pressed a hand to his chest before he could stop himself.

"Ana, are you in pain?" he asked with a frown.

He reached out and gently pulled me into his arms. "Don't be upset. Once Sarah joins the family, nothing will change. I'll treat you just as I always have, okay?"

His words carved another wound in my heart, but I blinked back the tears.

Then, I bit down hard on my tongue.

Chapter 2

Anastasia's POV

A searing pain tore across my tongue, and the metallic tang of blood flooded my mouth. Still, I didn't make a sound.

Instead, Timothy's body went rigid. Every bit of pain from biting my tongue was transferred to him in full.

He tightened his grip on my shoulder, the veins standing out across the back of his hand.

"Ana!"

Suddenly, he realized what was happening and forgot about himself. Panic seized him as he bent down and tried to pry my jaw open.

"Let go!"

I refused. If anything, I bit down harder.

Blood trickled from the corner of my mouth and ran down Timothy's fingers. Yet, it felt strangely satisfying.

He had no idea that everything I'd suffered in his place over the past three years had been infinitely worse.

Timothy turned toward the door and bellowed, "Someone get the doctor! Now!"

In an instant, hurried footsteps thundered outside.

Edna stumbled through the door. The instant she saw the blood around my mouth, she screamed.

Before I knew it, Sarah rushed over and grabbed Timothy's arm. "What happened to Anastasia? This is all my fault. If I hadn't asked to come live here, she wouldn't have…"

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she spoke.

Somehow, the panic on Timothy's face eased the moment he saw her crying. He reached over with one hand and reassured her, saying, "This has nothing to do with you. Don't cry."

He was making sure neither of us was neglected. How considerate.

The doctor was drenched in sweat as he looked helplessly at Timothy. "General, she won't let go. What should we do?"

Timothy's expression darkened at once. He gently pushed Sarah aside before cupping my face in both hands.

"Come on. Let go."

But I refused to look at him.

At last, his patience snapped. He shot to his feet and pointed at Edna, who was on her knees nearby.

"If you don't let go, I'll have them drag her outside and beat her to death!" he said, his voice cold with murderous intent.

The color drained from Edna's face, but she bit her lip and didn't make a sound. A beat later, she said, "I'm not afraid, Mrs. Grayson. Please, don't worry about me."

My heart lurched, and my jaw finally relaxed. Edna had been loyal to me. I couldn't let her suffer because of me.

The doctor hurried over and sprinkled medicinal powder onto the wound. It took several long minutes before he finally managed to stop the bleeding.

…

I didn't know how long I'd been out. By the time I woke, the lamps had already been lit.

Edna sat beside my bed, her eyes swollen from crying.

At that moment, Sarah's laughter drifted in from outside, followed by Timothy's low, gentle voice.

Then, they walked in together.

Sarah held a flower with two blossoms growing from the same stem. She held it up to Timothy and asked with a smile, "Isn't it beautiful, General Grayson?"

A smile played at the corners of his mouth as he nodded.

My gaze settled on the twin blossoms, and it felt as though someone were slowly carving into my chest.

Three years ago, during Timothy's first battle, a stray arrow had pierced straight through his back.

When the pain reached me, I was sitting by the window embroidering a shirt for him. The next second, I'd toppled out of my chair and hit the floor, my entire body convulsing from agony.

Timothy had rushed home that very night. Fumbling, he pulled a tiny wildflower from inside his coat and gently tucked it behind my ear.

His fingertips brushed my cheek, and his voice was soft yet hoarse as he said, "Ana, my life is yours as much as it's mine."

I couldn't bring myself to throw the flower away. Instead, I pressed it between the pages of a book and kept it there until the petals had crumbled to dust.

Now, he'd never remember that little wildflower again.

"Ana, you're awake!"

Just then, Sarah stepped closer with a bright smile.

My gaze dropped to her wrist and stayed there. The familiar pearl bracelet was my mother's keepsake—the one she'd left behind for me.

But now, it rested on Sarah's slender wrist.

I jerked my head up.

"That bracelet…" My injured tongue slurred the words. "It belonged to my mother."

Timothy merely glanced at me. "You made such a scene earlier that you frightened Sarah. She said she liked the bracelet on your table, so I let her have it. Call it your apology."

In that instant, all the blood, sweat, and tears I'd endured over the past three years suddenly meant nothing.

I almost laughed at myself. But then, I took a deep breath and said, "General, I'd like to step down and let Ms. Tucker take my place as your wife."

At last, a flicker of satisfaction crossed Timothy's face.

"Now this is the Anastasia I know."

He bent down again, leaning closer. "When you started talking about dying earlier, you nearly frightened me to death. Don't say such things again, okay?"

I simply looked at him.

Timothy thought I'd finally given in and chosen to step aside. He had no idea that I wasn't fighting anymore because I'd already decided to let him go.

I was going home.

"You're right. I won't bring it up again," I said softly.

Chapter 3

Anastasia's POV

I'd learned my lesson. From that day on, whenever Timothy came to see me, I greeted him with a gentle smile. I never asked where he had been or when he would return.

When Sarah deliberately wore my mother's bracelet just to flaunt it in front of me, I ignored her. I didn't fight with her and didn't give in to jealousy. I simply let her have it.

At first, Timothy seemed satisfied, saying this was the only way we could all live together in peace. But within days, he started looking uneasy.

That day, he strode into my room, snatched the pen from my hand, and hurled it to the floor.

"Ana…"

When I said nothing, he crouched before me. His eyes were clouded with panic and agitation as he said, "Don't do this. You can cry, scream, throw things, and curse at me if you want. Just don't shut me out like this. This isn't who you are."

I lifted my gaze and studied him quietly.

What was he afraid of? That I had truly given up on him? Or was he simply afraid of losing someone who had always been willing to shoulder everything for him?

The thought struck me as absurd.

At the end of the day, Timothy wanted it all. He wanted two women revolving around him—one to give him love, and the other to suffer everything in his place. But there was no way he could have the best of both worlds.

I simply bent down, picked up the pen, and placed it back in its holder. "As you say, General. I understand."

His hand stiffened on my shoulder. He looked as though he wanted to speak, but in the end, the words never came.

At that moment, a war horn blared outside, and Timothy's expression hardened. Word had come that the enemy army was closing in.

He shot to his feet, pulled me up, and spoke rapidly. "What's left of the barbarian army has returned. This time, their prince is leading them, and they have a sizable force. We might not be able to hold the city."

Timothy pulled me toward the door. Just before we reached it, he suddenly stopped.

"You and Sarah need to get somewhere safe. Once we drive them back, I'll come for both of you."

Having said that, he shoved me into a carriage, swung into the saddle, and rode off toward the city gates without looking back.

…

The convoy sped through the night, and torches flickered in the wind. Edna pressed herself close to me, her palms slick with sweat.

We hadn't gone far when a young soldier galloped up with orders.

"The General's orders. Ms. Tucker is to be taken to Ravenstone. That's a fortress. Its walls are easy to defend and nearly impossible to breach. She'll be safe there."

He paused for a beat before adding, "As for Mrs. Grayson, she's to go to the south gate."

Silence fell inside the carriage, then Edna shot to her feet. Her eyes widened as she demanded, "The south gate? That's outside the city! It'll be the first place the barbarians attack. You're sending her there to die!"

Edna started to protest again, but I placed a hand over hers.

"Escape while you still can," I urged. "You might still make it."

I had already decided to die, so it made no difference where I went.

But Edna refused to leave me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change her mind. In the end, I had no choice but to let her come with me.

…

When we reached the south gate, the soldiers were overcome with emotion at the sight of me.

They murmured that the General had even sent his wife to the front lines and that he intended for her to stand with them to the end.

All at once, their spirits soared.

But only I knew. Sarah, the woman Timothy loved most, was safe inside Ravenstone. Every precaution had been taken to keep her safe.

The horizon burned red, and the siege began.

I wasn't hit by an arrow, yet a searing pain suddenly tore through my left arm.

Timothy had been struck by an arrow on the front line. I felt every ounce of that pain as though the arrow had struck me instead.

I gritted my teeth and made no sound. Then came the second wound, and the third.

After that came the slash of a blade, followed by the dull, crushing impact of a heavy weapon striking armor. Pain erupted across my body again and again.

I leaned against the wall, cold sweat beading on my forehead.

Edna, on the other hand, sobbed as she tore strips from her dress to wrap my wounds. But as soon as she finished bandaging one wound, another appeared. The sight made her hands tremble violently with panic.

Just then, an arrow came streaking up from below and struck me in the right arm.

Edna screamed as she threw herself toward me, sobbing. "Get back, Mrs. Grayson! Please, get back!"

I lifted my head and looked toward Ravenstone through the smoke and the relentless rain of arrows. Sarah was probably safe inside a stone chamber, surrounded by guards.

My right hand instinctively rested against my lower abdomen. I was carrying one more secret.

The day after I tried to bite through my tongue, I began feeling unwell. I secretly sent for a doctor in the city.

"You're pregnant, Mrs. Grayson. More than a month along," the doctor had said.

After that, I paid him twice his usual fee to keep his mouth shut.

And now, I felt profoundly grateful. Timothy didn't deserve to be the father of my child.

…

As expected, the city gate fell. The barbarian cavalry surged through, their savage cries deafening as they closed in around me.

The soldiers defending the walls scattered in every direction. Meanwhile, Timothy's personal guards spurred their horses toward Ravenstone to retrieve Sarah.

As a sword came down, Edna threw herself in front of me.

"No!" I screamed with every last ounce of strength I had.

Chapter 4

Anastasia's POV

Edna collapsed to the ground, blood pooling beneath her. I sobbed so hard that my whole body shook, and an icy chill settled over me.

The leader reined in his horse and flashed a knowing smile. "Well, well, well, isn't this Timothy's woman?"

My heart sank, but the soldiers around him burst into laughter.

One of them said, "Your general took off with that sweetheart of his. I saw it with my own eyes. He couldn't get out of here fast enough."

His words doused the last spark of hope in me.

Years ago, Timothy had been such a frail young man that every time he coughed, I rushed to tuck the blankets snugly around him.

Once, a fire broke out at the estate. He stumbled through the smoke, shouting my name until he found me. The moment he did, he grabbed my hand and refused to let go.

"Ana, no matter what happens, you'll always be the first person I look for," he had said.

And now, during the retreat, every one of his personal guards had been assigned to protect Sarah.

The barbarian leader saw how dazed I was and laughed even harder. "I've always wondered what Timothy's woman would be like."

In an instant, they surrounded me and started stripping off their clothes.

Just as I reached for my hairpin to take my own life, I heard the pounding of hooves racing toward us.

The barbarian leader whipped around. There was a flash of silver, and his head flew clean off his shoulders.

It was Timothy.

He was drenched in blood, looking like death itself. With a few swift strikes, he cut a path through the enemy, hauled me onto his horse, and broke free.

"Ana," he called out hoarsely. "I came too late, but it's all right now. You're safe."

On horseback, Timothy checked me over again and again.

When he saw the arrow wound on my arm, his brow furrowed. "How did you get out? Didn't I tell you to stay behind the wall? You're a woman. What were you trying to prove?"

He tore a strip from the hem of his cloak and roughly bandaged the wound on my arm.

Even then, I said nothing. I no longer had the strength to speak.

Timothy held me against him and galloped all the way back to camp.

…

As I lay in bed, I thought the nightmare had finally come to an end.

At that moment, Sarah lifted the tent flap and walked in carrying a cup of herbal brew.

Timothy came in behind her. When he saw what she was carrying, he paused before reaching out to stop her. "What are you doing?"

Sarah ignored him and held the cup out to me.

"Ana, this is an herbal tonic to prevent pregnancy. Drink it while it's hot," she said loudly, making sure everyone outside the tent could hear.

Timothy's expression darkened at once. He grabbed Sarah by the wrist and asked, "What is this nonsense?"

Sarah immediately put on a wounded look.

"General Grayson, I'm only thinking of her. What if those men had already… before you rescued her? What if she's carrying one of their children? Are you supposed to raise some barbarian's bastard as your own?"

Murmurs drifted in from outside the tent.

"Did you hear? Mrs. Grayson was surrounded by barbarians at the south gate," one said.

Another added, "She was trapped with them for quite a while. Who knows what happened…"

Every word cut into me like a knife, one wound after another.

I looked up at Timothy, waiting for him to reprimand Sarah.

But he didn't. His lips parted, then pressed into a thin line. His Adam's apple bobbed once.

Without a word, he took the cup from Sarah. "Drink it, Ana. That way, no one can ever question your honor."

My blood ran cold, then rushed to my head.

This was the man I'd been willing to die for, the man I'd spent three years sacrificing everything for— bleeding and swallowing every ounce of pain without complaint.

Timothy took the cup.

Of course, I couldn't fight him. He murmured reassurances as he forced the tonic down my throat.

Something inside me died, and the last trace of warmth I'd been holding onto was gone.

Just as Timothy let out a breath of relief, I snatched the cup from his hands and hurled it to the floor.

Then, I grabbed one of the sharp shards and pressed it against my throat. Without the slightest hesitation, I slashed it across my throat.

Blood splattered across Timothy's face, and his features contorted with horror and pain.

"Ana!"

His scream tore through the tent, but I could barely hear it anymore.

As I collapsed, I saw his usually calm, composed facade shatter for the first time, giving way to sheer panic.

Gritting his teeth, Timothy lunged toward me and pressed his hands against my throat, trying to stop the blood. But no matter what he did, he couldn't.

Then, he noticed something even worse. A dark stain was slowly spreading across the hem of my dress.

Timothy's eyes went wide as he stammered, "Y-you're pregnant…"

He gathered me into his arms, his whole body shaking.

Then, the system's voice rang clearly in my head. "Vital signs no longer detected. Death condition activated."

Timothy tried to wipe the blood running down my legs, but it only kept coming.

"Why didn't you tell me? Ana, please… don't leave me."

He screamed himself hoarse, and the hands that had never wavered when holding a sword now shook uncontrollably.