Chapter 1

I have low sperm count and a congenital heart condition.

The doctor advised against having children.

My wife suggested freezing her eggs.

"No rush. Once your condition is cured, we'll have a baby."

For five years after we married, every time I suggested we try.

Theresa would refuse, her eyes rimmed with red.

"Whether or not we have children doesn't matter. Having you is enough for me."

Every time I felt her intense love, the more I wanted a child of our own.

It wasn't until seven years later that my longing for a child reached its peak.

That very night, my phone showed a car downstairs shaking abnormally.

I went down to check and caught Theresa and the young man she sponsored laughing and talking happily inside the car.

A sharp pain seized my heart, forcing me to pull back the hand that was about to open the car door.

Curled up in pain beside the car door, I listened to their conversation.

"Give me a child, baby."

"What if your husband finds out?"

"If I get pregnant, he'll be too thrilled to think straight."

Lucas gave a soft laugh. "I'd be making him a father painlessly. When he finds out, will he..."

Theresa cut in mockingly, "You're afraid of him? A useless piece of trash with a heart condition and low sperm count. He can barely keep himself alive—how could he ever deal with you?"

"Besides, he loves me to death. If I say the child is his, he wouldn't dare not believe me."

With trembling hands, I dialed a number.

"Hello. The IVF plan we started a few days ago—you can stop it now."

A serious voice answered on the other end.

"Mr. Sanchez, the embryo culture has already begun to take shape. Are you sure you want to stop?"

"This matter... don't you need to discuss it with your wife first?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "No need to discuss it. Confirmed—destroy it."

Since Theresa was already planning to have a child with another man.

What difference did it make whether I discussed it with her or not?

After the call ended, I braced myself against the car and forced myself upright.

But the conversation inside had not stopped.

Lucas rolled over and pinned Theresa beneath him.

"But what if, after the child is born, he gets a whim one day and goes for a paternity test?"

Theresa's voice, mixed with her panting, carried an indulgent little laugh.

"With his heart the way it is, I have to go with him just to leave the house."

"Him running off to a hospital alone for a test? Impossible."

"Besides—"

Theresa gave a low chuckle.

"He wants a child so badly. But what can he do when his low sperm count means he can't have one? He can only accept his fate."

My face was reflected in the car window.

Pale, lips gone purple, the corners of my eyes red.

Seven years ago, it was this same face.

That had wrenched Theresa's heart so badly.

Time after time, when my heart condition flared up.

Her eyes red, she had knelt before my hospital bed, holding my hand and saying.

"Adrian, I'm willing to freeze my eggs. Once you're better, we'll have a child."

Then for five years.

Every time I brought up wanting a child, she would tear up and pull me into her arms.

"No, your body hasn't recovered yet."

"I still have to take care of you. I can't let a child take my energy away from you."

"Adrian, all I need is you. I don't care about a child."

Every time she said those words with tears in her eyes, I felt like the happiest man in the world.

But now, Lucas stroked Theresa's face and asked softly.

"Don't you love Adrian so much, though?"

"You won't even have one child for him? Afraid of the suffering?"

Theresa lit a cigarette and gave a mocking smile.

"The suffering is beside the point."

"The main thing is his genes are no good. I don't want to have another child with a congenital heart condition!"

"I can't afford that gamble."

So that was the real reason she never wanted me to have a child.

That night, I sat on the sofa in a daze the whole night through.

Theresa sent a message: Adrian, don't wait up for me tonight. I'm arranging a place for Lucas. Get to sleep early.

What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? I'll bring you something.

I pressed the phone dark and didn't reply.

Early the next morning, Theresa came back.

She'd bought breakfast—chicken congee, my favorite.

"How did you sleep last night? Getting Lucas settled took a while, so I couldn't come back to keep you company. Don't be angry."

She opened the congee container, set the spoon in it, and held it out to me.

I didn't take it. I lifted my eyes and stared at her.

"Settled where?"

"I rented an apartment near the company, so it's convenient for his regular checkups."

Her tone was calm, as if she were chatting with me about the weather.

"Your body is too weak, you're not fit to have children. I wanted Lucas to help out. He provides the service, I give him the sponsorship. It's fair."

Theresa noticed I didn't look well and reached out to touch my forehead.

"Why do you look so awful? Is your heart bothering you again?"