I'm the Only One Going in Blind

CH. 01

Chapter 1

18,713 words

My younger brother, Jude Lockhart, is so obsessed with my girlfriend, Kendra Sable, that he's become mentally unstable. He threatens to kill himself every few days.

Desperate to keep Jude from hurting himself, my parents and Kendra come up with a twisted little game. They put together a series of mystery boxes. Whoever draws the box marked "Skip" loses the date, while the other person gets to take Kendra out.

I refuse to play along at first, but Kendra reassures me that it's only a way to keep Jude calm. She asks me to cooperate for the sake of keeping the family together.

But I have terrible luck.

That means Jude gets to go on the date with Kendra every time, and all I can do is watch as the two of them go out to dinner together and even take wedding photos.

When it becomes clear that they're actually planning to get married, I finally have enough. I'm ready to confront Kendra and put an end to this ridiculous game.

Instead, I catch her at a jewelry store with Jude, the two of them showing off their marriage certificate while they shop for wedding jewelry.

Mom and Dad are practically giddy as they help the newlyweds pick out their jewelry.

"This is wonderful! You two are finally married. A special day like this calls for a few more pieces of jewelry to celebrate!"

"Mom, Dad, we couldn't have gotten together without your help," Jude says, holding Kendra's hand tightly as he turns toward them. "You rigged the mystery boxes so that every single one contained a little slip marked 'Skip'.

"Since Owen always drew first, I was guaranteed the chance to go out with Kendra and eventually build a happy life with her. He never even knew."

"Keep it down," Kendra says in a hushed voice, leaning against Jude's shoulder. "Don't let Owen find out, or he'll make another scene."

My blood runs cold.

So this is the truth. My entire family—and even my girlfriend—have been working together behind my back this whole time.

I take out my phone and book a flight out of town.

If there's no place for me in this family, I'll give them exactly what they want.

Chapter 1

"Kendra, what do you think of these rings?"

I watched as my younger brother, Jude Lockhart, picked out a pair of gold rings from the display.

"Let me try it on and see," Kendra Sable said, shyly holding out her hand.

Yet, I remembered how upset she'd been when I took her shopping for rings last time. She told me that her parents had gotten into a terrible fight over a ring when she was a child, and the argument had ultimately led to a car accident that killed them both.

The incident had traumatized her, and that was why she'd refused when I tried to buy her a ring.

I believed her. I even thought about finding some other way to propose without a ring.

But now, Kendra let Jude slip the ring onto her finger without the slightest hesitation, her cheeks flushed with happiness.

My heart felt hollowed out.

So it turned out her childhood trauma had been nothing more than an excuse to turn me down.

I stepped backward and watched as they held hands and exchanged rings.

Then I pulled out my phone and called Kendra, breaking the intimate moment between them.

She immediately gestured for Jude to be quiet before answering.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"I'm obviously at work," she replied sweetly.

"Oh," I said, a wry smile tugging at my lips. "I thought maybe you secretly went out with Jude."

Kendra stiffened.

"How could I be? I've already told you I only agreed to those dates because I had no choice. Those so-called dates with him were nothing more than dinner to placate him. I love only you. Why would I secretly meet him?"

She said it all without batting an eye, and I couldn't help but wonder when she had become so good at lying. She made every lie sound like the truth.

And now, I couldn't even tell which of her words were real and which were lies.

Just then, Jude leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Kendra's cheek. She didn't push him away. She simply shot him a coy, meaningful look.

"Okay. I've got to go," she said over the phone. "I still have some important work to finish. Just text me what you want for dinner, and I'll bring it home tonight."

She hurriedly ended the call, then took Jude's hand as they walked away together.

For all those years, the little bit of affection Kendra had shown me was what kept me going. But it turned out that it had all been a lie.

If that was all it had ever been, then I didn't want this fake love anymore.

"I've already booked my flight," I said to my supervisor. "I'll be there on time."

I'd accepted the transfer I'd been offered. I'd leave this place and let them have the family they'd chosen.

Later, Jude and Kendra returned home separately so they wouldn't come back at the same time.

Chapter 2

Kendra was the last one to come home.

Mom had prepared a whole spread of dishes, all of them Jude's favorites. Meanwhile, Dad set two small homemade boxes on the table.

"Alright. Tomorrow's the weekend, which means it's time for the box game again," he announced. "Owen, you're the older brother. So, you go first."

I set down my utensils. I didn't feel like eating food I hated, and I certainly didn't feel like playing a game I never wanted to play.

"I'm not doing this," I said. "Kendra is my girlfriend, and it's perfectly normal for me to take her out. Why do I have to draw one of these stupid boxes?"

Jude's expression fell.

He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, pressing the blade against his neck.

"So you're blaming me, huh? Fine. I'll just die. Then I won't get in anyone's way!"

The knife was still several inches away from his neck, but everyone immediately panicked and began crying for him to put the knife down.

Kendra shot me a reproachful look.

"Come on, you know what Jude is like," she chided. "We're just trying to keep him calm. Why do you have to take everything so seriously? Just draw a box.

"You've just had terrible luck before. What if this time you get lucky?"

"It's a 50-50 chance," Mom said, wiping her tears. "Just let Jude have this one. You can't seriously stand there and watch your own brother kill himself!"

I sat silently in my chair.

"Fine." I relented. "Let him draw first."

Jude's face immediately darkened.

Mom shot me an unhappy look, and Dad slammed his hand against the table.

"Jude was being kind enough to let you go first, and you're still making a fuss? You walk around with that miserable look on your face every day. Who are you trying to impress?

"I didn't need him to let me go first," I snapped, grabbing a box. "This one's mine. The other one's yours. If you don't want to open yours, I'll do it for you. That's what an older brother is for."

The color drained from Jude's face, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Owen, was this because Mom and Dad had me and took away the love that was supposed to be yours? Is that why you keep picking on me?

"Fine. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been born. I shouldn't even be alive. I'll go die right now."

He threw the knife to the floor with a clatter and turned toward the window, attempting to climb out of it. Mom and Dad immediately rushed after him, putting on another show of trying to talk him down.

None of this surprised me anymore. I'd seen this scene unfold so many times that I'd practically gotten used to it.

"That's enough, Owen!" Kendra shouted. "He's your own brother. If you won't open your box, I'll do it!"

She snatched my box and opened it herself, holding up the slip inside.

"It's 'Skip'," she said. "I'm sorry, Owen. That means I have to go out with Jude again this time. But don't worry. I swear I'd never betray you."

That was easy for her to say, but she'd already betrayed me.

The moment I drew "Skip", Jude miraculously stopped having an episode. He stopped threatening to kill himself and ran over to me, practically glowing with excitement.

"Owen, looks like I'm lucky after all. I guess I was born lucky," he said airily. "I get to go on another date with Kendra this weekend!"

Kendra didn't correct him. She simply lowered her head, unable to meet my eyes.

I picked up the remaining box and prepared to open it.

"Alright. I'll open yours too. Let's see what kind of luck you got. Maybe some of it would rub off on me."

As I was about to lift the lid, their faces tensed.

Dad suddenly snatched the box from my hand and stuffed it into his pocket.

"You already know what you got. So why are you messing with Jude's box?" Mom shrieked, jabbing a finger at me. "Don't be so ridiculous. You've always bullied Jude ever since you were a kid.

"And now that you're grown, you're still doing it. Are you really that determined to tear this family apart?"

Dad stood there with his hands behind his back, seething.

"If I'd known you would turn out this rotten, I would've strangled you the day you were born."

Seeing the argument escalate, Kendra once again stepped in to play peacemaker.

"That's enough, Mr. and Mrs. Lockhart," she said. "I know you both love Owen. Please don't say things you don't mean just because you're angry."

She gently tried to calm my parents down before turning toward me.

"Owen, how could you talk to your parents like that? My own parents died when I was young. You had no idea how much I envied you for still having parents who loved you, yet you took them for granted and kept causing trouble.

"Honestly, I'm very disappointed in you."

Chapter 3

I looked at Kendra, and for a moment, she seemed like a completely different person.

Back when we were together, she'd always comfort me whenever I talked about how my family always favored Jude. She'd tell me that I could always rely on her, that she'd always stand by my side and support me.

But now, she was siding with them too.

"I'm disappointed in you too," I shot back. "Let's break up."

I turned and walked back into my room, and Kendra hurried after me.

"Why are you breaking up with me all of a sudden? I thought we were doing fine."

I tried to close the door, but she wedged her foot against it.

"Doing fine?" I asked, incredulous. "Do you honestly not realize how obvious your favoritism toward Jude has become?"

Kendra let out a laugh.

"So you're jealous," she concluded, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Alright, I'll tell you the truth. I've always been a little biased toward Jude because when I was 12, I nearly drowned on a family trip, and he was the one who saved me…"

As she told me the details of what happened back then, I frowned.

When I was 12, I had indeed saved a girl around my age. I hadn't dared tell my parents much about it because I was afraid they'd scold me for getting involved in someone else's business. Once I knew she was okay, I'd simply left.

Realization dawned on me.

It's no wonder back in college, a woman as exceptional as Kendra had gone out of her way to pursue me. I had been nothing but a nobody back then.

It turned out she'd been trying to return the favor.

Could everything she'd done for Jude really have been because she'd mistaken him for the boy who saved her?

If I hadn't seen what happened at the jewelry store, I probably would've believed her.

Still, I felt the need to explain.

"I was the one who saved you."

Kendra was stunned.

"What did you say?"

Just then, Jude opened the door, his eyes red.

"Owen, you're still the same," he choked out. "You always have to take credit for everything I do. But whatever. I guess that's what I get for being the younger brother. Just take the credit. It's fine."

Mom hurried in after him.

"You've been taking whatever good things Jude had since you were kids. And now you're even trying to take credit for saving someone's life?"

I couldn't believe my ears. They had been the ones taking everything from me.

Even the things Grandpa had left me, they'd tried to give to Jude. I'd only fought to get back what was mine. Yet somehow, whenever they told the story, I was always the one in the wrong.

But Kendra believed Jude.

"Enough, Owen," she scolded. "Stop making things up. I clearly remember the boy who saved me had the name 'Jude' on his shirt. I thought you'd changed your name back then, but later, I learned that I'd simply remembered the wrong person…"

Of course she remembered seeing Jude's name.

My parents had always bought new clothes for Jude, while I wore his hand-me-downs. They'd simply covered the name on the old school uniform with a new name tag. It must have come loose when I pulled Kendra to safety.

Jude rubbed at his eyes, pretending to wipe away tears that weren't even there.

"Thank goodness you remembered, Kendra," he said. "Otherwise, I'd have been blamed for something I didn't do again."

Sympathy flashed across Kendra's face.

"Owen, this is your fault," she said. "You should apologize to Jude."

I looked at Jude's smug expression, then at the three people standing against me.

"What if I refuse?"

"Then get out of this house!" Dad roared.

"I've been the one paying the rent this whole time," I shot back, laughing. "Are you sure you want to kick me out?"

Mom suddenly let out a dramatic wail and beat her chest.

"How did I end up with such a cold, heartless son? We're family, and yet you have to keep score over every little thing!"

A moment ago, they had been the ones telling me to get out. Now that they needed something from me, they suddenly treated me like family.

The hypocrisy was almost laughable.

But Kendra didn't see it. If anything, she looked even more disappointed.

"Just leave. I'll pay the rent."

"Fine. You can pay for it."

If she wanted to keep supporting this whole family of freeloaders, I'd let her.

I grabbed the suitcase I'd already packed and walked out of the door.

"Are you really leaving?" she asked, her eyes reddening when she saw that I was actually serious.

"He's just putting on a show." Dad scoffed. "There's no way he'd actually leave. He's been like this since he was a kid—always playing mind games."

Kendra frowned and reached for my suitcase.

"Enough, Owen. You're a grown man. Stop throwing a tantrum like you did when you were a kid!"

I yanked the suitcase back from her.

She had no idea that I wasn't throwing a tantrum. This time, I was really leaving.

Chapter 4

"If you want to leave, then go! Don't ever come back!"

Kendra's voice rang out behind me, but I didn't look back. I walked away without hesitation.

After all, there was nothing in that house worth staying behind for.

It had originally been the home Kendra and I shared. My family had been the ones to come looking for us, claiming they couldn't make ends meet back in the countryside and asking to stay with us.

I had refused at first.

But after Kendra lost her parents, she'd spent years being passed from one relative's house to another. She missed having a real home and a family of her own.

So, she'd begged me to let them stay.

However, I didn't get an ounce of the warmth I'd expected from having a family around. Every day, they either came begging me for money or took what was mine and gave it to Jude.

My bedroom, the car I'd bought with my own money, and even Kendra—they'd taken everything from me and given them to Jude.

I dragged my suitcase all the way out of the apartment complex, and not a single person came after me to stop me.

Just then, a car came barreling toward me at full speed.

I realized it was my car at first glance. I threw myself out of the way, but I still wasn't fast enough.

The impact sent me tumbling to the ground.

A security guard from the complex immediately ran over and asked if I needed medical attention, while the driver was dragged out of the car.

It was Jude.

The guard restrained him, and not long after, Mom and Dad came rushing over.

"It was an accident. Let our son go!"

Kendra came over to me and tried to reason with me.

"Jude didn't mean to do it," she said. "Please, just forgive him this once."

Jude lowered his head, a flash of smugness passing through his eyes as he pleaded, "I'm sorry. I drank too much. I didn't see you."

The pain that shot through my body was nothing compared to the ache throbbing in my chest.

"Drunk driving, huh?" I gritted out. "Then I'll make sure you're held accountable."

A slap sent my head snapping to the side.

"He's your own brother!" Kendra cried. "Are you seriously going to send him to jail?"

"My brother? Then what the hell was he doing just now? He tried to run me over!"

"I told you, he didn't mean to. He apologized. You have to forgive him."

"I won't."

Seeing that I wasn't going to back down, Kendra sighed.

"You once promised you'd do three things for me. I'm using one of them now. Don't press charges against Jude."

When we first got together, I'd promised Kendra I'd grant her three requests. I'd already fulfilled two. The first was agreeing to let my parents move in with us, and the second was agreeing to the mystery-box game.

And the third was this—to let Jude off the hook.

The way Kendra was so protective of Jude finally made me realize the woman I'd once fallen for was already dead.

"Fine. I agree."

I'd take it as closing the final chapter in the seven years of our relationship.

The moment I agreed not to press charges, everyone crowded around Jude.

Meanwhile, I limped to the hospital by myself.

Fortunately, I'd only suffered a few scrapes. The injury felt like this rotten family of mine—nothing fatal, but painful enough to keep hurting.

I spent several more days recovering at a hotel.

…

Later, when I was about to board the plane bound overseas, Kendra sent me a message.

"The class president asked me to invite you to our class reunion."

I knew what she was doing. She was giving me an easy way out, an excuse to come back without having to admit that she was asking me to return.

But I ignored the message.

I turned off my phone, boarded the plane, and left to begin my new life.

…

At the class reunion, Kendra kept looking around the room, but the person she was waiting for never appeared.

Instead, one of my old friends, who had known me since elementary school, came over to talk to her.

"You're Owen's girlfriend, right?

"That guy, he's a great one. I once tried to kill myself by jumping into a lake, and he was the one who saved me. He stayed with me and talked me through it for a long time. He gave me a reason to keep going. I wish you two the best!"

"He saved someone? That's the first I've heard of it," Kendra said, smiling. "But the Lockhart brothers are really nice people. It was Jude who saved me back then when I accidentally fell into the water."

"Jude?" The lady froze. "But he couldn't swim. He's been terrified of water his entire life."

Kendra's body went rigid. The glass slipped from her hand and shattered on the floor.

Realization finally dawned on her.

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