Chapter 3

The spring semester of freshman year began.

Spring in the South always came with a damp chill.

I dragged my suitcase back to the dorm and unpacked everything, piece by piece.

Among my things was a journal with a brown leather cover.

It was the thing I'd treasured most in high school.

Inside were the ticket stubs from all the places Reg and I had once gone together.

And the vows we'd written down for our future.

I set it in the most visible spot on my desk, meaning to find a box to store it away.

That afternoon, the class held its first meeting of the new semester.

Emily came to our dorm to borrow some materials from a roommate.

I'd just come out of the bathroom when I heard a startled cry.

"Oh no!"

Emily was standing in front of my desk, a knocked-over bottle of ink in her hand.

The black liquid spread fast, soaking straight through the leather journal.

The pages went blotchy and black, the writing smearing into a blur.

She stood there frozen with a tissue in her hand, at a loss.

Reg happened to reach the doorway just then, and hearing the noise, he strode in.

"What happened?"

Emily's eyes went red in an instant, her voice thick with tears.

"I spilled ink on it by accident."

"Reg, she won't be angry with me, will she?"

"I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to grab a book to prop something up."

Reg glanced at the wreck on the desk, his brow creasing slightly.

He turned to me, his tone plainly taking her side.

"If it's something that important, why would you just leave it lying out on the desk?"

"Emily didn't do it on purpose."

"It's just a beat-up notebook. I'll buy you ten to make up for it, all right?"

I stood where I was, looking at the journal that held three years of my youth.

Ink dripped off the edge of the desk onto the floor.

A dull, heavy sound.

"No need."

I walked over and picked up the soaked notebook.

The black ink stained my fingers.

I went straight to the trash can and let go.

With a thud, the notebook dropped into the dark.

Reg blinked, as if he hadn't expected me to be so decisive.

Emily tugged at the hem of Reg's shirt.

"Reg, my pen just broke. I won't be able to take notes in class this afternoon."

Reg's eyes swept across my desk.

They landed on a nice pen case.

It held the matching couple's pens we'd bought when we got into college.

He simply reached out and took the one that was mine.

And handed it to Emily.

"Her pen's broken. Lend her yours for now."

"You only ever use gel pens anyway. That one's just sitting there collecting dust."

I watched him do it, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

My heart felt like it was seized hard by an invisible hand, then released all at once.

Leaving nothing but numbness.

"Put it down."

I stared at the pen in Emily's hand, my voice flat.

Emily jumped and shrank back behind Reg.

"Edna, why are you being so mean?"

Reg lost his temper completely.

"When did you turn into such a hysterical person?"

"College is a small society. With a temper like that, how are you going to get by?"

"It's just a pen. Do you really have to be this petty?"

I stepped forward and snatched the pen out of Emily's hand.

Then, right in front of them.

I slammed it hard against the concrete floor.

The nib bent instantly, ink splattering everywhere.

The snap of breaking metal was jarringly loud in the quiet dorm.

Reg stared at me, shocked, as if he didn't know me anymore.

"You're right, I have a bad temper."

I pulled out a wet wipe and cleaned the ink off my fingers, bit by bit.

"So, Reg, from now on, stay out of my business."

Reg let out a cold laugh.

"Fine. Call it me minding what isn't mine to mind."

"If you've got the nerve, don't ever come looking for me again!"

He grabbed Emily and turned to leave.

The door slammed shut behind them.

I tossed the wipe into the trash and took out my phone.

Opened my contacts.

Found that number I knew by heart.

Swiped left, deleted him as my emergency contact.

Then I opened the app and unlinked our shared couple's account.

Once it was all done, I let out a long breath.

Outside the window, the winter jasmine had bloomed.

A bright wash of yellow.

So pretty.