Chapter 2

"No!"

My father shot to his feet, worked up.

"You've never once lived away from home. You go out of state, how are you going to take care of yourself?"

My voice stayed light. "I can learn."

"Learn?"

He gave a cold snort. "You think wanting to learn means you'll manage? You're being naive."

My mother shook her head too. "Gay, if you stay close by, you can still come home on weekends and eat. I'll make you soup, build you back up."

She dabbed at her eyes, as though there were tears there. "It's so hard out there. Your father and I can't bear to let you go…"

I kept my head down and said nothing.

Just as I thought. They'd already mapped out my road.

In the name of loving me.

Then, out of nowhere, my sister spoke up.

"Mom, Dad, maybe we should hear what Gay wants. This is about her future, after all."

My father whipped his head toward her. "Don't stir up trouble."

She flinched and shrank back, but forced herself to keep going. "With Gay's scores, in-state she can only get into a community college. Out of state, she could get a four-year degree. Same scores, so why not let her try for something better?"

My father's mouth twitched, once and again. "What difference does an associate's make versus a bachelor's? It's not like she'll live off that."

"You put yourself through the misery, fine, but how can you stand to make your sister suffer too?"

My mother nodded quickly. "Gay, your father and I are providing for you. You don't have to wear yourself out the way your sister did."

She reached out to take my hand.

I pulled it back.

"Stop pushing me."

That one line dropped the room into silence for a beat.

"Pushing you? We're doing this for your own good!"

My father's temper surged up. "You're the only one who can't tell good from bad!"

Something seemed to click for my sister. She looked at me, concerned. "Gay, is there a school you have your heart set on?"

I looked at her.

"I want to go to a directed-enrollment academy. Like you did."

The words were barely out before both my parents' faces changed again.

My father went red to the ears. "Look at your scores! Look at what your sister scored the year she got into the National Institute of Defense Technology, and then look at what you've got. Do you even come close?"

My mother panicked too. "Gay, your sister had it rough! Look at her hands, all calluses, her legs covered in scars. Don't put yourself through that!"

I shook my head slightly. "There are plenty of schools like that all over the country. Not all of them need top scores."

"Whatever my sister could take, I can take too."

My sister opened her mouth to say something.

Then she glanced at our parents' faces and swallowed it back.

"No means no!"

My father marched straight to the computer. "This matters too much. I won't have you messing around."

He filled in the application for me himself, submitted it, then changed the password.

I watched, still, and didn't move.

My mother looked at the confirmation screen and smiled, like something had eased in her.

"Gay, don't hold it against us. Everything we do is for your good."

"You're still young. There's a lot you don't understand. We'd never do anything to hurt you."

If not for my past life, I really would have believed her.

I knew arguing was useless, so I turned and walked out the door.

Partway there, I called my homeroom teacher.

She listened to what I told her, then went quiet for a moment.

"If you don't have the password and can't change the application yourself, you can bring your ID to the in-person registration site and apply to reset it."

I wanted to go home and get my ID card and exam admission slip. I'd just reached the front door when I heard voices talking inside.

My feet stopped, and it felt like I'd been dropped into a pit of ice.