Chapter 2

The reason I told Mom about the trip was that I wanted to see her support my decision.

I told myself that Mom was simply bad at expressing herself, that her words were harsh but her heart was soft, and that she had to love me.

But her reaction last night had cut deep into my heart like a knife.

Even if Mom refused to sign the form, I was still going on the trip.

I had worked too hard for too long to give up so easily.

I imitated Mom’s handwriting and signed her name on the parent signature line.

When my teacher checked my form the next day, she suddenly stopped and frowned slightly.

I nervously clenched my hands, feeling as though my heart were about to leap out of my chest.

Fortunately, she did not notice anything unusual.

I successfully secured my place on the trip, and my mood brightened with it.

When Mom saw me behaving myself, she assumed I had abandoned the idea of going and sighed deeply.

“Ethan, I want you to see more of the world too, but with our family’s situation, there’s nothing I can do. Once you have a job, you can do whatever you want, and I promise I won’t interfere, okay?”

I silently pushed the rice around my bowl without answering.

My sister’s voice came from her bedroom.

“Mom, I have to pay for tutoring again. It’s twenty-five hundred dollars, so don’t forget to pay it.”

Mom looked up and answered without hesitation, “Okay.”

As if she were afraid I might take it personally, she put a piece of chicken in my bowl.

“Your sister is at a crucial stage in her education, so we can’t cut corners on necessary expenses. You understand, don’t you?”

I did not know why Mom treated me so differently from my sister.

Our family was not wealthy, but we had enough money to maintain a relatively high standard of living, and the fact that my sister attended a private high school was proof of that.

Was it because I was asking for too much? But the trip only cost a hundred and fifty dollars, and I had already saved enough, so why wouldn’t she even sign her name and give her permission?

My sister’s tutoring cost so much money, and so did my brother, but why did Mom never become impatient with them?

I silently got to my feet, leaving the piece of chicken untouched at the bottom of my bowl.

Mom stood up before I did and rubbed her shoulder.

“It’s been a long day. Ethan, since you’re finished eating, could you wash the dishes for me?”

At that moment, my brother woke up and staggered out of his bedroom, waving his little hands excitedly when he saw Mom. “Mommy.”

Mom’s expression softened as she bent down and gathered him into her arms. “Did you sleep well?”

The loving scene between mother and son stabbed me straight through the heart.

She did not acknowledge my answer, or perhaps she simply did not care what it was.

My vision blurred with tears, and even breathing became difficult.

At last, I understood what the problem was.

Our family was not short of money, nor was it short of love.

Their attention had simply never fallen on me.