Chapter 1

The year my delusions were at their worst, I saw my husband, Gavin Vance, cheating with his secretary every single day.

But every time I rushed at them, the picture in front of me would shift into the two of them sitting properly, discussing business, as if nothing had happened at all.

Until one time I lost control and slashed one of Gavin's fingers with a knife.

He clutched his bleeding hand, his face twisted with pain.

"Are you only going to stop once you've driven us both to death?"

I couldn't accept what I'd become, so I chose to check myself into the psychiatric hospital.

For three years, every time those images came back, I bound myself in iron chains and faced the wall, repenting for the wrongs I'd done.

Gavin came to see me every week, aching over the injuries all over my body.

I truly believed this was how the rest of my life would go.

A family who loved me, friends who kept me company. That was happiness.

Then one day I heard a voice in my head, strong and insistent.

Sienna, I'm you, ten years from now. You never had a delusion disorder!

Gavin cheated on you long ago! Your parents, your friends, they're all acting, deceiving you!

My head split with pain, and I tried to shake the message off.

But the voice grew clearer, feeding me the truth without pause.

Little by little, I stopped fighting it, and slumped numbly against the shabby wall.

Three years of guilt and regret suddenly loosened their grip in that moment.

……

A shaft of light passed through the dusty windowsill and fell across me.

I looked up, dazed, and realized it had been so long since I'd seen the world outside.

The doctors at the psychiatric hospital were all bought off by Gavin. The so-called treatment was fake, only meant to keep you here willingly.

I know it's hard to accept, but I'm not lying to you. I lived in that hospital for thirteen years before I happened to learn the truth from a doctor.

If you don't believe me, go to the back courtyard. There's a spot where the wire fence is loose. You can slip out while they're not watching.

My mind was a tangle, but before I could catch up to any of it, my body moved first.

For three years I'd been the most cooperative patient in the whole hospital. Almost no one questioned my motives.

I made it easily to the place the voice described, reached up, and pried the wire gently aside.

The next time I was aware of anything, I was already standing outside the hospital.

The voice in my head told me:

Do you believe me now? Then go home. You'll understand everything.

Following her directions, I stumbled the whole way, finding the road back home.

But it took me a long time to be sure the mansion in front of me was my house.

Over these three years Gavin's business took off. Every time he played the martyr in front of you, he was faking it.

Go inside and see. There's nothing of yours left in there.

I pushed the door open slowly. The curtains and lights came on by themselves, and a robot readied a pair of slippers.

This place had once been just a single-story house. Now it was several times larger, filled with all kinds of technology I couldn't make sense of.

Only then did I see how much three years could change.

Only I had been left frozen where I was.

"Ma'am, how are you here?"

The housekeeper saw me and was too startled to know how to react.

She instinctively moved to snatch up the page under her foot, but I still saw it. It was the painting I was proudest of.

In the early days of Gavin's company, an entrepreneur he was partnering with had wanted to buy it.

But he'd refused, even at the risk of losing the deal, and had it carefully framed and hung in the most prominent spot.

He'd told me, "This painting holds our memories. I have to protect it."

And now it lay tossed aside, marked with countless shoe prints.

The housekeeper spoke to me carefully.

"Ma'am, is your illness acting up again? I'll have someone take you back right away."

I said nothing and pushed past her, heading toward the back courtyard.

I had already seen it. Today was the third birthday party for Gavin's child.

The last party held here had been our anniversary, when Gavin dropped to one knee and swore he would never betray me for the rest of his life.

The picture snapped to something else. The person at Gavin's side had been replaced by someone else, and I had become the witness to their love.

Within my view, the child's mother wore an exquisite gown and leaned into Gavin's side, the two of them looking like a matched pair.

She was Gavin's secretary, Bernice Mason.

The very one who had once sworn to me there was nothing at all between her and him.

Now the child's grandparents were presenting him with expensive jewelry, laughing that it was only for the true bloodline.

But they were my parents.

When I'd discovered Gavin's affair, they had clung to me, insisting over and over that nothing improper had happened, weeping as they begged me not to go down a path of no return.

And there was the child's godmother, coaxing him with a carefully chosen toy.

She was my best friend.

She had always stood firmly by my side, taking it upon herself to bring me to the psychiatrist, promising she would stay with me until I was fully recovered.

Everything good was shattered now.

At that moment Gavin wrapped an arm around Bernice's waist, gently brushing the stray hairs from her forehead, and said to her:

"Thank you for six years by my side. From now on, I'll give you a steady home."

Applause broke out among the guests below, everyone cheering for this great love.

My body went rigid, and emotions I'd kept numb for so long surged up.

A day ago, he had said the very same words to me.

He'd knelt in front of me, his whole body trembling as he held me.

"It's my fault, I'm useless. Once you're better, I'll take you home."

So it turned out he had several homes.

The one that was mine was the most broken-down of them all.

The sky suddenly opened up with rain, soaking my ragged clothes, so out of place here.

My feet drew back on their own.

But a gaze had already turned toward me.