Chapter 2

The words on the wall felt like a curse.

I stared at the line for a moment, then tore the white paper off, crumpled it, and threw it into the trash.

I put on my school uniform, grabbed my backpack, and left.

I hadn't eaten breakfast.

The pot was empty; my mom wasn't home.

I didn't know where she went, and I didn't want to know.

At school, the first class was literature.

I sat in the back row.

The desk next to me was empty.

No one wanted to sit with me.

Because I was "sick."

Lily had asthma.

My mom's rule was that when I played Lily, I had to take medication regularly.

To avoid her finding out, I put vitamin tablets into the asthma medicine bottle and brought them to school to take.

I also had to pretend to cough, pretend to struggle for breath.

Over time, everyone in class knew that Maya had a crazy sister, and that Maya herself wasn't normal.

"Schizo."

That was the nickname they called me behind my back.

During recess, I stayed in the classroom.

Because Lily couldn't engage in strenuous activity.

A few girls walked in from outside, laughing and chatting.

When they saw me, their laughter paused, then they deliberately lowered their voices, but still loud enough for me to hear.

"Look, the schizo is playing dead again."

"I heard her mom's crazy too, always picking up trash on the streets."

"So gross, she was just taking pills. Who knows what she's actually taking."

I kept my head down, staring at the words in my textbook, pretending not to hear.

Suddenly, a hand slapped my desk.

I looked up.

It was Chloe.

Chloe was a top student, good grades, pretty, and popular.

She looked at the girls, frowning.

"What are you guys talking about? The bell rang, don't you need to get back to your seats?"

The girls pouted and dispersed.

Chloe pulled out the chair next to me and sat down.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," my voice was cold.

"You didn't take your medicine today." She stared at my half-open backpack.

My heart tightened.

"Forgot it."

"Don't you have asthma? You forgot your medicine?" She looked into my eyes, as if trying to see through me.

"It's not serious," I turned my head to look out the window.

Chloe didn't press further.

She pulled an old-fashioned caramel candy from her pocket and placed it on my desk.

"Here."

I looked at the candy.

Lily liked caramel candy.

Maya didn't; Maya found it too sweet, sickly sweet.

"I don't eat candy." I pushed the candy back.

Chloe paused.

"Didn't you used to love them?"

I didn't say anything.

Before was before, now was now.

Last night I smashed the music box, I took off the red shoes.

I didn't want to pretend anymore.

Chloe sighed and put the candy back.

"Maya," she suddenly called my name.

I turned my head.

"I actually know," she lowered her voice. "You don't really have asthma, do you?"

My hands clenched.

"I saw you switch the medicine bottles," she said. "You poured out the white pills and put in yellow vitamins."

I stared at her, my heart pounding fast.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I don't want anything," she looked at me. "I just think you're living too hard."

"It's none of your business."

I stood up and walked out of the classroom.