Chapter 1

My husband spent six grueling years making it to the city, and the day he came back to bring me along for the good life,

I tore up the train ticket in front of the whole village.

In my last life, I took that ticket, carried my son, and followed him into the city.

To save on rent, I slept in the kitchen with my child for three years.

So he could focus on earning his professional title, I spent my days gluing cardboard boxes for other people and my nights washing the whole family's clothes.

After my mother-in-law became bedridden, I was the one who cared for her for eight years, cleaning up her waste.

He got promoted, was allotted a house, and our son got into college.

Only me—over forty, no job, no work history to my name.

I couldn't even pull fifty dollars out of my pocket.

Later he decided I was an embarrassment to him, and even our son tried to talk me down:

"Mom, everyone Dad deals with now is educated. Stop showing up at his work."

On the day of the divorce, he kept mocking me:

"You ate my food and lived in my house for twenty years—what makes you think you get a share?"

But he was the one who wouldn't let me work in the first place.

"I can support you. A woman keeping the home is worth more than anything."

In this life, he held that ticket out to me again.

My mother-in-law pushed me to go pack.

My mother, eyes red, said I'd finally made it through.

Expressionless, I took the ticket—and tore it in two right there.

……

When Seth Dickerson came back, a crowd had gathered at the edge of the village.

A black leather bag was strapped to the back of his bicycle, and two pounds of meat and a bag of white flour hung from the handlebars.

"Seth's really made something of himself."

"Carla's finally made it through."

His mother, Leah Whitney, was smiling so wide her mouth wouldn't close, her whole face full of smug pride.

After Seth stepped into the yard, he pulled a brown paper bag out of the leather bag.

"Train tickets for the day after tomorrow."

"Carla and Daryl are coming with me."

The yard broke into excitement at once.

"Carla's going to be a city person from now on."

"Six years of waiting, and it paid off."

I stood off to the side, looking at the two tickets in his hand, and something in my chest sank a little.

In my last life, I took those two tickets, carried my son, and followed him into the city.

But this wasn't the first time I'd given up a job for him.

Six years ago, the village elementary school was short a substitute teacher.

Mr. James brought the registration form to my house himself.

I'd finished high school, and my grades had always been among the best in the village.

Back then, though, Seth spent an entire night talking me out of it, that form in his hand.

"Carol's dad died young, and her mom's health is bad."

"This job matters more to her."

Carol Fox.

Seth's childhood sweetheart, the two of them raised together.

Their two houses were separated only by a strip of field.

I'd asked him the question back then, a faint bitterness rising in me.

"And what about me?"

Seth smiled and took my hand, his tone offhand.

"You're going to be my wife."

"Supporting you is nothing to me."

The next day, I returned the registration form.

Carol Fox became the substitute teacher at the village elementary school.

And after I married Seth, I had a child, cared for the old folks, and waited in the village for six long years.

"Carla."

Seth held the ticket out to me, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Hold on to it."

My mother-in-law gave me a shove too, her voice urgent.

"What are you standing there for?"

"Go to the city and take good care of Seth. A man earns money out there, and all you have to do is keep the home."

I took the train ticket, my fingertips brushing the paper, and my chest gave a hard jolt.

Both hands pulled.

A ripping sound.

The two tickets split down the middle.

The yard went silent in an instant.

The sunflower seeds in my mother-in-law's hand scattered across the table, and the smile froze on her face.

Seth's face darkened, his brows knotting tight.

"Carla Fox, what are you doing?"

I set the torn pieces on the table, my back rigid and straight.

"I'm not going."

"Have you lost your mind?"

My mother-in-law grabbed my arm, gripping hard, her eyes full of disbelief.

"So many women dream of going to the city, and you dare tear up the ticket?"

Seth stared at me, anger pressed down behind his eyes.

"Don't make trouble."

In my past life, those were the words I feared most.

Hearing them in this life, a numbness spread through my chest, and I felt nothing at all.

"I'm not making trouble."

"I'm going to register for the teacher certification exam."

Someone in the yard laughed at once, a mocking edge to it.

"Carla still wants to be a teacher?"

"How many years since you've even touched a book?"

Seth's face grew uglier by the second, the mood around him sinking.

"Get inside first."

That night, once Daryl was asleep,

I sat under the lamp sorting my registration papers, smoothing the pages flat with my fingertips over and over.

Seth leaned against the table, smoking, the smoke curling around him, his voice full of impatience.

"What exactly are you trying to pull?"

"I told you, I want to work."

"And if you're working, what happens to the family?"

He counted it off on his fingers, looking utterly sure of himself.

"Daryl's only seven. He needs to eat, he needs to go to school."

"I put in over ten hours a day at the factory—am I supposed to come home and do my own laundry and cooking too?"

"And Mom's getting older; somebody's got to look after her."

He finished with a look that said it was all beyond question.

"Come to the city with me and take care of the home."

"I can afford to support you."

That same line again.

Six years ago, this was exactly how he made me hand my job to Carol Fox.

I looked at him, a wave of hurt rising in my chest.

"And if I insist on taking the exam anyway?"

Seth stubbed out his cigarette, anger in the motion.

"Suit yourself."

He opened the leather bag and put back the thirty dollars and grain coupons he'd meant to leave for the family, his eyes cold and hard.

"Since you're so capable, starting this month, I'm not sending money."

"You earn your own keep."

I nodded, my fingertips tightening a little.

"Fine."

Seth let out a cold laugh, a sneer twisting his lips.

"Fine."

"Let's just see how long you can keep this up."