Chapter 1

There's a running joke in my circle about the biggest doormats around, and I've topped that list for years.

Turns out there's something even sadder than being a doormat: getting your wedding banquet canceled ten times by your fiancée.

The first time, Melissa Ferguson had to stay behind and nurse her childhood friend, who'd taken a bad fall.

The second time, her childhood friend was starting his first day of work, and Melissa couldn't stop worrying about him.

...

The tenth time, her childhood friend got into it with a client at work, and Melissa tore off her veil and bolted out the door without a second thought.

The wedding guests openly mocked me and turned the whole thing into a joke again.

But I'd already made a decision.

I'd go after my own goals from now on. No more wedding. Melissa and I were done. She went her way, and I'd go mine.

One day, I walked straight out to the car waiting outside and went to make something of my life.

Chapter 1

It was the sixth year of our relationship, and Melissa Ferguson still hadn't given me a wedding.

Today, I'd finally made it to the actual banquet, and the hall was packed with people who'd shown up for the spectacle. They whispered, snickered, and threw out jabs, and every word of it reached my ears.

"I can't believe Russell is putting up with this. How many times is this now? Let's guess how long it takes the bride to run off this time."

"I'll bet a hundred thousand dollars she's out the door in under three minutes."

"Wrong. I'd give it five minutes, since making a phone call takes time too. Fine, a hundred thousand it is. Who would've thought his weddings would turn into the hottest ticket in town? A few tries ago, you could've walked right in and found the place half empty."

"Everyone's here for the show, and he's the best part of it. Look at how much money went into this wedding. My guess? Another wasted effort."

"I'll put up half a million. This seat alone cost me a fortune."

The whole hall buzzed with chaos, everyone waiting, calculating exactly when Melissa would walk out. It should have been the most sacred moment of my life, and instead it played out like a death match at a casino. Nobody here had come to wish us well. Not this time, anyway.

"Melissa's coming out, look!"

Someone shouted it, and I turned toward the sound just as Melissa, clutching her wedding dress, jogged toward me, and our eyes met.

The music hadn't started. The handoff ceremony hadn't begun. The officiant hadn't even come out yet. And there she was, hurrying toward me like she couldn't wait another second.

Hope flared in my chest, and color rushed back into my face.

They'd been wrong. Melissa wasn't running. She was rushing to marry me. Wasn't she?

She stopped right in front of me, and while I stood there brimming with hope, she yanked off her veil and kicked away her heels. "Ezra just called. He said someone beat him up, and it's bad. I need to go check on him. This is life or death. It matters more than some ceremony.

"Don't fight me on this. We've been together six years. We've waited this long. What's a little longer?"

With that, she walked out barefoot.

The fury I'd braced myself for never came. I stood there in silence for so long that Melissa's shape blurred out of view, and only then did the world's sound and color come rushing back.

"Told you. Pay up. Three minutes on the dot. You all gave Russell too much credit. Spineless as he is, why would Melissa need five whole minutes? One word from her and it's done."

"Well, that was a letdown. I was hoping for a longer show. Let's go, there's nothing decent to eat here anyway."

"You know, Russell really is a fool. He could've lived the easy life as some rich heir, and instead he's out here hanging himself on a dead tree, practically begging to be rejected. Still, these weddings are a good time. I'll definitely come to the next one."

After the bride left, most of the crowd went home satisfied. Of the ones who stayed, some filmed my humiliation to share with friends, others just didn't want to waste a free meal. Only a handful, out of some sense of decency, offered me a few words of comfort.

No one understood what I was feeling. Only I knew how exhausted I really was.

This was the tenth time Melissa had promised to marry me and then stood me up. She'd been lying to me the whole time, treating me like a stray dog that came running whenever she called. But even a dog eventually gives up on its owner.

I walked to an empty corner and dug out a number I'd carried with me for years. "I want in on this undercover mission," I said. "I'm not afraid to die. You were right. Walking straight into the dark is how you make sure more people get to live in the light."

Chapter 2

Loud static crackled through the phone, followed by a long sigh.

"Russell, I know today's wedding hit you hard. Melissa's always been a bit thoughtless, and you have every right to be angry. But you can't treat a mission like this as some kind of joke. Lives are on the line. And even if you're willing, Melissa certainly won't be.

"Once this mission starts, there's no going back to a normal life until it's finished. Think it over carefully."

My mentor's voice was hoarse and sharp. He was trying to use the danger of the mission itself to talk me out of a decision made in the heat of anger. I choked back a sob and made my promise anyway.

"This is my choice," I said. "Melissa and I aren't married yet, so I won't be holding her back from anything. Please, let me do this."

Outside, the light rain was tapering off, and a blinding sun broke through right after. Even the shadows hiding in the dark corners were swallowed up by the light.

My mentor let out a low hum, and when he spoke again, his voice was heavy but tinged with something like excitement.

"On behalf of the agency, welcome aboard. Thank you for putting your life on the line for your country. I'll file the paperwork tonight. Someone will come for you soon."

The call ended, and I pushed down the storm in my chest before picking up the microphone.

"Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to come to my wedding. I mean that. The ceremony didn't happen, but please, enjoy the food and drinks."

I walked off the stage without a trace of emotion.

Melissa sent me a string of photos. All of them showed Ezra Doyle hurt, wrapped in bandages.

She must have thought I wouldn't believe her, and this was her clumsy attempt to prove it. What she hadn't noticed was that the massive floor-to-ceiling window behind them had caught their reflection. She was supposedly taking his picture, but her body was pressed right up against his, and his hands, the so-called injured man's hands, were wandering all over her, anything but still.

So much for being hurt. I smirked and was about to shut off my phone when another message came through.

[You saw for yourself, Ezra's really banged up. I don't feel right leaving him alone at home, so I'm staying to look after him tonight. Don't read into it. Make sure you eat and get some rest.]

Anyone who didn't know better would think Ezra couldn't function on his own. But in the photo, he clearly hadn't been affected in the slightest. That little scrape of his would've healed on its own if she'd shown up any later.

Once I got home, I went straight to the bathroom and showered. When I picked up my phone again, the screen was flooded with messages, all from Ezra.

One moment he was showing off a meal Melissa had cooked for him, the next it was a photo of the two of them in matching couples' pajamas. But what really broke something in me was the pair of custom bracelets.

Melissa had given it to Ezra as an anniversary gift, marking the twenty-fourth year since they'd met. Friends since they were still in diapers. Something worth bragging about, I supposed. Except that bracelet had also been my birthday present.

Back when we were dating, Melissa used to joke that my birthday landing so close to the anniversary of when she and Ezra first met had to be fate.

I hadn't understood their bond back then, and I'd even laughed it off, saying as long as they weren't both in love with each other, fate could do whatever it wanted. It was only a curse if it turned into something more.

Her expression had gone stiff for just a second that day before she laughed it off.

"Listen to you, getting all jealous. Don't worry, Ezra and I are just friends. Tell you what, so you never have to wonder again, take this rubber band. Every year on your birthday, I'll get you something, and the year we finally get married, I'll make you a bracelet with my own two hands."

That was the reason we'd set our wedding date on my birthday. Not long before all this, I'd seen the sketches for that very bracelet lying around the house. More than once, I'd caught myself thinking how romantic Melissa really was.

Chapter 3

I'd held onto every promise we'd ever made, every word she'd ever said to me. Somewhere along the way, all of it got swept up and buried under the flood of time, and Melissa's love went to someone else instead.

A rough cough tore out of me, my chest aching.

In all our years together, Melissa had given me exactly one gift: a stuffed doll. Not even a ring. She always said she hated empty gestures and wanted me to be more realistic about things. The truth was, she just couldn't be bothered to put in the effort.

That night, I set the doll on fire, the same one I'd held every night, patched and mended more times than I could count. The flames crackled and popped, burning away the last of my most naive feelings right along with it.

The next day, Melissa came home reeking of alcohol. She looked exhausted, her eyes faintly swollen and red. The moment she saw me, something impatient flickered through her dull, tired gaze.

"I was up all night taking care of Ezra. Had a drink just to stay awake, no other option. I'm going to go sleep for a bit. Can you handle dinner?"

Melissa ran a medical aesthetics company and was constantly closing deals over dinners and drinks. But out of everyone, she hated the smell of alcohol most. In her mind, business was business, and drinking only led to mistakes.

Especially with how packed her schedule always was, one careless slip could cost her everything. Alcohol clouded judgment, plain and simple, and made every risk worse. That was exactly why she'd never once let me drink at home, let alone come home smelling like a bar.

Love really was a strange thing. It could take someone who despised alcohol and have her lying about needing a drink to stay awake.

While I stood there, stunned into silence, Melissa seemed to remember something and rubbed at her eyes, looking guilty.

"I got so caught up looking after Ezra's injury yesterday that I didn't have time to get you anything. You know how busy I've been with the wedding; I barely had a second to think. Just don't get me anything either, okay?"

My eyes drifted to the bracelet on her wrist. No time to get me a gift, and yet somehow, in the middle of all that chaos, she'd found the time to design a one-of-a-kind bracelet just for the two of them.

"That's just something cheap I grabbed online..."

Melissa flinched and pulled her hand back, her expression turning unnatural.

"Ezra liked the look of it, so I just grabbed a couple online, nothing expensive. I'll make it up to you in a couple of days. It'll be something that costs way more than this, I promise.

"Don't be so hard on him. He's still recovering."

The old me would have picked a fight over this and never let it go. Now, I didn't even have it in me to argue.

"Melissa..." I opened my mouth, ready to tell her I was leaving.

We'd been a couple, after all, and I didn't want to vanish without a word. That would've been an insult to six years together.

But just as she turned to face me, her phone started buzzing nonstop in her pocket. "Hold that thought. I'll talk to you in a bit."

Melissa snatched up her phone and ran out onto the balcony, and I let my outstretched hand drop, all desire to say anything gone.

"Ezra just got up and fell again, and there's no one else to help him. I need to go check on him. Whatever you wanted to say can wait until I'm back."

She kicked off a pair of slippers I didn't even recognize, threw on a different outfit and shoes, and hurried out the door. Right as she stepped out, her foot caught the pot holding last night's burned doll, sending the ashes flying. The ash scattered through the air and settled into dust within seconds.

"What is this mess? Russell, remember to clean up while I'm out. Get whatever this filthy thing is out of the house. I want it spotless by the time I get back."

Chapter 4

The door slammed shut, cutting off the rest of her complaints. I gave a bitter smile and swept up the ashes with a broom.

That doll had been Melissa's gift to me in our very first year together. Back then, we'd been in a long-distance relationship, and she'd clung to me in tears, warning me not to so much as look at anyone else.

Later, she'd turned up with that doll from who knows where and shoved it into my arms. "Wherever you go from now on, you're bringing this with you. Think of it as another version of me. Once the long distance is over, we'll get married, and I'll personally take its place."

I'd believed her, foolishly carrying that doll from spring straight through winter. Then winter turned back to summer, the distance between us finally closed, and that promise turned out to be nothing but empty words. It simply never came true.

At noon, I headed back to Melissa's company to wrap up my remaining work. I'd taken a few days of wedding leave, and my coworkers looked at me with awkward, unfinished sentences whenever they saw me.

I didn't even need to guess. Melissa had brought Ezra into the office again. She never bothered to hide how much she doted on him.

"Russell, we figured you'd take a few more days off before coming back. Ms. Ferguson really crossed a line this time, ditching you at your own wedding, and then flaunting that homewrecker around the office like it's nothing."

"You have no idea how good he is at buying people's loyalty. The second he walked in, he treated everyone to afternoon tea, and it wasn't even his money; it was Ms. Ferguson's. Russell, I'm just saying it because it's not fair to you. If it weren't for you, this company would've folded a long time ago."

The ones who liked me well enough grumbled on my behalf, and the ones who didn't took quiet, sideways shots at me instead, comparing me to some stray dog left outside, discarded just the same as one.

"You guys..." The people around me tried to speak up for me, but I waved them off. "It's fine. None of it matters anymore."

I kept my voice low and gave a short explanation of my plan to leave.

My assistant, who'd stuck by my side the whole time, looked reluctant to let it go. "Russell, this company only made it this far because of you. How could they treat you like this after everything..."

He was practically fuming on my behalf, and I gave his shoulder a reassuring pat.

The next second, Ezra came limping toward me. "Russell, I brought you some afternoon tea. Everyone in the office got some, but yours is different.

"Consider it a thank-you gift. Thanks for being so understanding about Melissa. If you hadn't let her come look after me, I might've died alone at home and no one would've known.

"Look at me, I've actually put on weight these past few days. All thanks to Melissa taking care of me."

He showed off his pale, smooth arm, and the first thing that caught my eye was the bracelet on it.

Everyone in the office was craning their necks to watch. It wasn't a big company, and everyone had already seen the post Ezra shared online, which meant they all knew about me getting ditched at my own wedding too.

In that gleaming office tower, I'd become nothing but a punchline to everyone around me. The more shameless Ezra acted, the more pathetic I looked, and the better the show was for everyone watching.

"Here, try this." Ezra held out a chocolate cake toward me. I reached out to wave it off, and the cake ended up smashed right into his face instead, no warning at all. Cream instantly plastered his cheek and hair.

My assistant let out an ill-timed laugh, and Ezra's whole body trembled as he bowed to me, shaking.

"I'm sorry, Russell. I know this is on me. You waited so long for your wedding with Melissa, and if I hadn't gotten hurt out of nowhere, she never would've left you standing there. This is all my fault. Hit me, yell at me, whatever makes you feel better."

Chapter 5

Ezra shook the cream off himself, looking as pitiful and ridiculous as a clown.

"Russell, what do you think you're doing?" An angry shout rang out, and just as I turned to answer, a huge glob of cream slammed into me.

Not satisfied with that, Melissa scraped up the mess of cream still clinging to Ezra and smeared it straight across my face.

A sharp, burning itch spread over my skin instantly. I was allergic to chocolate. Even the slightest contact left me covered in hives, sometimes even swollen.

"If you have a problem, take it up with me directly. I'm the one who called off the wedding. Ezra has nothing to do with it. Honestly, I don't understand how anyone could be so petty over something this small."

She swept off with Ezra, the two of them leaving in a hurry. I rushed into the bathroom to wash off the mess. I'd moved fast enough that only a faint red mark remained on my face.

While I stood there, dazed, my mentor called. Someone would come for me first thing tomorrow morning. Which meant today would be the last day I'd ever spend with Melissa.

"If you feel like the timeline's too tight, we can push it back a day." My mentor offered the option gently, and I turned it down without much thought. "No need. I'll leave tomorrow."

Evening rolled around before I knew it. For once, Melissa showed up with an armful of late-night snacks and an unopened gift box.

"This is to make up for your last birthday. Go on, open it. I remember you telling me you loved their perfume."

It was a bottle of Hermès cologne. I'd never once said I liked it.

Then I placed the scent, the same one that always clung to Ezra, and it clicked. He was the one who'd said he liked it. Melissa had just misremembered and assumed it was me.

"Don't be sour with me over this. This gift cost way more than what I got Ezra." She rubbed her palms together, and I could tell right away she wanted something from me. I tossed the cologne carelessly onto the table.

"What is it?"

Seeing that I'd brought it up myself, Melissa put on an ingratiating smile.

"So, Russell, remember that deal you closed with that cutting-edge overseas beauty program a while back? Could you let Ezra take the credit for it? You'd still get the bonus and everything, he'd just get the title.

"You've already closed plenty of deals for the company anyway, so it's not like you'd even miss this one. It's different for Ezra. Everyone already mocks him, saying he only got where he is by seducing me. You know we grew up together. Taking care of him is just about honoring that history.

"I never used to care what people said about us, but Ezra's gotten so depressed from all the criticism that he can barely sleep at night from the anxiety. Just help him out this once."

That collagen technology had just launched overseas, no side effects, and it actually worked. I'd spent months wining and dining, drinking myself sick, just to land that deal, and now she wanted to hand it over with a single sentence. She'd apparently forgotten I'd landed myself in the hospital three separate times chasing that project.

"So, can you?" Melissa carefully handed over a bag of greasy takeout, the smell hitting me before I even saw it.

I nodded stiffly and forced the word out through gritted teeth. "Fine."

I was leaving anyway. Soon enough, every project I had, Melissa included, would belong to Ezra.

"I knew you were the best. Next week, I promise, I'll make time next week to finally hold our wedding." Melissa ran back to her room, practically giddy, to gossip with Ezra on the phone.

With a heavy heart, I spent the whole night packing.

Just as the sky started to lighten, she stirred, half-asleep, and mumbled, "Are you heading out for a new deal?"

She didn't show a trace of fear that I might actually be leaving for good. To her, this was just another business trip. I looked at the group chat where the whole company had spent every day mocking and humiliating me. Then, calm as ever, I typed out one last message.

[I'm going after my own goals from now on. No more wedding. Melissa Ferguson and I are done, she goes her way, and I'll go mine.]

I sent it, went downstairs, handed my phone to the contact waiting for me, and disappeared along with the car.