Chapter 1

On the day of my abortion, my best friend tried to stop me. "You and your husband have been married for seven years. You finally managed to get pregnant. Why does the baby have to go?"

I answered calmly, "Because of a glass of water."

Aaron Jefferson had a severe germphobia. He never shared everyday items with me. If I had already drunk from a glass, he would not touch it.

Then I found a video on his student's social media. In it, the girl held up her half-finished coffee and brought it to his lips. Aaron leaned down and took a sip straight from her hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

He frowned slightly, but a smile still touched his lips. "That sweet, huh? Careful, or your teeth will start hurting again."

That night, I sat alone in the living room and watched the video hundreds of times.

When Aaron woke up, I poured myself a glass of water and took a sip in front of him. Then I held it out to him. "Drink up."

He stared at me as if I had lost my mind. "Tessa, I don't drink after other people."

Seven years of marriage, and to him, I was still just one of those other people.

I pulled myself back to the present and walked into the operating room. Then I lay quietly on the table.

Outside the window, cicadas sang at the height of summer, and the sun blazed overhead. Suddenly, I no longer wanted to hold on to Aaron or that glass of water.

Chapter 1

Tessa's POV

The moment I stepped out of the operating room, a message from Aaron came through.

Aaron: [Pick up a few boxes of egg pastries from the south side of town. Viv's coming over for dinner. She likes steak, the meaty cut. Also, she doesn't eat celery or eggplant.]

The anesthesia had worn off, and a stabbing pain shot through my lower abdomen. I struggled to stay on my feet and leaned against the wall for support.

Misha Green caught me by the arm. She glanced at my phone screen and instantly lost her temper. "What is wrong with Aaron? He remembers other people's dietary restrictions to the letter, but what about yours?

"Last week, he made you mushroom meatballs and forgot you're allergic to mushrooms. You went into severe anaphylactic shock. If I hadn't been standing right next to you, you could have died!"

My eyes stung, and tears spilled down my cheeks without warning.

When Aaron and I first started dating, he had been clumsy but tender. He kept a note on his phone with my birthday, my likes and dislikes, and all my dietary restrictions. He always made sure to have brown sugar water and pads ready the day before my period started. Every holiday, he somehow found the perfect gift for me.

But now, he no longer remembered our anniversaries or planned surprises. He had even forgotten I was allergic to mushrooms.

I had to admit that the fervent vows he had sworn nine years ago had begun to rot and reek. Word by word, those promises had turned into thorns that cut deeper and deeper into my heart until it bled.

After a long moment, I put my phone away and looked at Misha. "Find me a lawyer. I want a divorce."

…

I dragged my exhausted body home.

The moment I pushed open the door, a sharp, cold blast of alcohol spray hit me full in the face.

Vivian Sidwell pinched her nose and aimed the spray bottle at me before sticking out her tongue. "The professor said dirty things aren't allowed through the door. You won't get mad, will you?"

I forced my stinging eyes open and looked at her.

She was wearing one of Aaron's short-sleeved shirts, the one I had custom-ordered for him just last week. I had even embroidered the budding plant design on the cuff myself.

Now it hung loosely on her, barely covering her rear. It did far more to expose the truth than conceal it.

I laughed. "I didn't know Aaron had such an ill-mannered student."

Vivian's face instantly went pale. She shot Aaron a pleading look.

Aaron's expression hardened. He stepped in front of her and snapped at me in a low voice, "Tessa, watch your tone. Viv was only joking with you."

A joke?

I wanted to ask him if sharing a cup of coffee was a joke too. Was Vivian wearing his clothes also a joke? Exactly how many more of these ambiguous little jokes had passed between them?

But as I watched him defend her without a second thought, I no longer wanted to ask anything at all.

I shut the door behind me, changed my shoes, and walked to the dining table.

Then I pulled out a chair and sat down. "Aaron, I have something to tell you."

Chapter 2

I had wanted our relationship, after two years of dating and seven years of marriage, to at least end with some dignity.

I rubbed my fingers over the abortion report tucked inside my bag and chose my words carefully. "I went to the hospital today—"

"How big a deal can it be? Can't it wait until after we eat?" Aaron cut me off impatiently. "Tessa, I don't have that much time to waste on you."

I froze and stared at him in disbelief. My throat felt stuffed with cotton, and I couldn't force out a single word.

I had once said those very words to him—a waste of time.

Back then…

Aaron pursued me with grand gestures. He showed up outside my classroom building, in the cafeteria, and on the sports field.

When he gave me a love letter, I turned him down. By then, I had received so many that I'd lost count.

"I don't want to date right now. Don't waste your time."

"How could it be a waste of time?"

The 18-year-old Aaron had smiled sweetly. His eyes were as clear as spring water, and I could see my own reflection in them.

"Feeling the same wind blow across the same patch of ground, looking at the same tree, basking in the same sunlight as you... all of it makes me happy. Listening to you speak, hearing every single word, even hearing you turn me down... it's all worth it to me."

…

Back then, my heart had pounded like a drum, and my face had burned bright red.

But now, I looked up at the ice-cold face before me and barely recognized him.

When had Aaron stopped caring enough to spare me the time for a single sentence?

"Professor Jefferson, since your wife didn't buy any groceries, let's just forget it." Vivian giggled and stepped forward, steering Aaron toward the kitchen with a hand at his waist. "I've actually been craving those mushroom meatballs you made last time!"

Aaron smiled. He tied on an apron, then turned and ruffled Vivian's hair affectionately. "It just so happens I made extra last time and froze them."

"You're the best, Professor Jefferson!"

They laughed and joked as they walked past me, as if I were invisible.

A fine, needling pain spread through my heart.

So even those mushroom meatballs had never been made for me. What I'd eaten was nothing more than a test batch Vivian hadn't wanted.

My hand shook around the abortion report. I suddenly lost my nerve and retreated to the bedroom. At the very least, I didn't want Vivian to see me this humiliated, this pathetic.

Outside the door, they ate meatballs and chatted casually. They talked about thesis topics, then the weather, then the snow in Kelbraska, then the maple forests of Mount Radeon.

Professor Jefferson, a man who usually rationed his words like gold, responded to every single thing Vivian said.

Inside the bedroom, I cried until I could no longer make a sound. My tears dripped onto the report and soaked through a large patch of paper.

It wasn't until dusk, after the sun had set, that Aaron finally opened my bedroom door.

He pushed up his glasses and held out a takeout bag. "You're still pregnant. You can't skip meals."

It was herbal soup from my favorite shop. Before the owner had even offered delivery, Aaron used to wake up early every morning just to buy it for me.

"You weren't yourself today. Why were you so aggressive with Viv?" he asked.

I gave him a thin smile and looked him straight in the eye. "Aggressive? She likes you. Can't you see that?

"You brought her into our house. She wore your clothes. She sprayed alcohol in my face. And even though you know I'm allergic to mushrooms, you still kept mushroom meatballs in the freezer for her—"

Aaron's face darkened. "Enough!"

His brows drew together, and contempt flickered in his eyes as he looked at me. "Viv is the best student in my research group. What's wrong with her coming over for a meal? Stop being so narrow-minded and reading into everything.

"She has ambition. She has goals. She's nothing like you, a housewife who only knows how to revolve around the kitchen and the washing machine."

A bone-deep chill crept through me inch by inch until my heart seemed to freeze and shatter.

I stared at him in disbelief, my entire body trembling. "Aaron, you were the one who begged me not to work all those years ago!"

He was the one who had said he couldn't bear to watch me leave early and come home late. He couldn't stand the thought of our time together dwindling away. He had promised to support me for the rest of my life.

And I had believed him.

Aaron stared at my tears for a long moment before he finally sighed. "Fine. I was too harsh. You're still pregnant. You shouldn't get this worked up."

He headed for the door. "It's raining outside. I'm going to drive Viv home. Whatever you have to say can wait until I get back."

I didn't stop him. Even if I'd tried, I couldn't have.

Just then, a message from Misha popped up on my phone.

Misha: [Tess, the divorce agreement is drafted. I booked two tickets out of the country. Come clear your head with me.]

I didn't hesitate.

[Okay.]

…

I waited on the couch for Aaron to come home so we could talk about the divorce, but dozens of calls went unanswered. He didn't rush through the door until 7:00 a.m. the next morning.

When he saw me, Aaron looked stunned. "Tess, why are you sitting here? The rain was heavy last night. Viv twisted her ankle on the stairs, so I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all night."

"Aaron..." I hadn't slept all night, and my voice came out impossibly hoarse. "Was it really so hard to send me one message? To answer one call? Was it really so hard to listen to me say just one thing?"

Chapter 3

"I'm sorry." Aaron stood in the entryway and fell silent for a few seconds. "My phone died last night. I thought you were already asleep. You haven't had breakfast yet, have you? I'll make you something."

He went into the kitchen without waiting for a reply and prepared three dishes.

Aaron was hopeless at everyday tasks, but he was a master in the kitchen.

I had a stomach condition, and to help me recover, he'd spent half a year studying dozens of cookbooks. After that, he cooked something different for me every day.

When the last pot of soup came off the stove, Aaron packed all three dishes into a lunchbox. Then he pushed a plate of toast smeared with strawberry jam across the table to me.

"Tess, just make do with this. I need to rush to the hospital and bring Viv breakfast. Would you mind washing the dishes?"

The streak of red jam on the toast stung my eyes. Aaron had forgotten that I never ate strawberries.

I watched him bustle around and gave a bitter smile. "You certainly care a lot about this student of yours."

"Tessa, what exactly is that supposed to mean?" He snapped at me, something he rarely did. "I treat all my students the same. If any one of them got sick today, I'd go take care of them, no matter who it was."

"Is that right?" I looked up and met his eyes. "Would you drink from a cup any other student had already used too? Aaron, what happened to your germphobia?"

A flicker of embarrassment crossed Aaron's face. "I don't understand what you're talking about."

He grabbed the lunchbox and tried to brush past me on his way out.

I caught his arm and shoved the abortion report into his hand. "If you don't understand, you should at least be able to read."

I dumped the strawberry toast into the trash. By the time I turned around, he was already gone.

The report, soaked with my tears, had been crumpled into a ball and tossed into the trash.

I stood there frozen for a long time. It felt as though someone had carved a piece straight out of my heart and left a hollow space behind. Yet somehow, I couldn't cry anymore.

In the end, I went back to my room and started packing.

…

Misha had a courier deliver the divorce agreement.

I checked the property division and found nothing wrong with it. All that remained was to wait for Aaron to come home, sign it, and put an end to this absurd relationship.

At 9:00 p.m. that night, the doorbell rang.

I opened the door to find Vivian there instead. She was slightly out of breath as she propped up a thoroughly drunk Aaron.

"Professor Jefferson had a few extra drinks for me at the project celebration dinner tonight. I didn't realize he was such a lightweight, but he still made sure to look out for me."

I said nothing. Instinctively, I reached out to help support him.

Vivian dodged my hand. She closed the door as if she belonged there, helped Aaron back to the bedroom, and only then turned to me with a smile.

"Don't be mad at me for not letting you touch Professor Jefferson. I know he'd think you were dirty.

"Even when he's drunk, he barely lets you touch him, does he? I bet he hardly touches you when he's sober either. Otherwise, how could it have taken you seven years of marriage to have a baby?"

She leaned closer, lowered her voice, and gave me a mocking, provocative smile. "After all, Professor Jefferson said that every time he touches you, all he can picture is you back then, pinned down by a bunch of thugs. He said it disgusts him."

A piercing ringing filled my head. The taut string inside my mind snapped in an instant.

Aaron's father was a gambler. To help Aaron pay off his father's debts, I'd sung at a bar every night. One night, a group of thugs harassed me and nearly assaulted me.

That night, Aaron had turned into a beast let loose from its cage. He'd taken a club to those men and beaten them until they were covered in blood.

Afterward, he'd held me and sobbed as if his heart were breaking, his hands trembling uncontrollably. "Tess, it's my fault. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

It was a nightmare from when I was 19, a secret I'd guarded for 8 years. And now Aaron had turned it into gossip about me, sharing it with a female student who was infatuated with him.

My head snapped up, and I stared at her. "What did you just say?"

"I said Professor Jefferson thinks you're— Ah!"

She never finished. I slapped her hard enough to crush the rest of the sentence in her mouth.

I put nearly all my strength into the blow. Vivian stumbled and fell, her forehead slamming into the coffee table. Blood began to flow.

She clutched her face and stared at me in terror. "You're insane... You're a lunatic!"

Her screams and sobs echoed through the living room.

I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her toward the door. "Get out. Get out of my house right now!"

The door slammed shut behind her.

With all my strength gone, I slid down the doorframe and collapsed onto the floor. A cold sweat dampened the hair at my temples.

Chapter 4

In the room, Aaron murmured my name under his breath, "Tess..."

Unlike all the times before, I did not patiently change his clothes or wipe him down. I simply stood beside the bed and stared at him for a long time.

In the end, I took off my wedding ring and tossed it into the trash along with his.

Nine whole years, and we had finally gone from young sweethearts to a couple who could barely stand the sight of each other.

I slept in the guest room that night.

The next morning, Aaron stormed in and yanked me out of bed.

He glared at me, disappointment plain in his eyes. "Tessa, you hit Viv last night, didn't you?"

The pain jolted me fully awake, and I wrenched my hand free from his grip. "What? Does it hurt you that much to hear she got hit?"

Aaron was so worked up that his eyes had gone red. He grabbed a set of clothes and hurled them at my head. "Her parents called the police. It's blown up into a whole thing at the school! You're coming with me right now to apologize to her!"

I rubbed my aching wrist and let out a cold laugh. "Oh, so she has parents? I thought she was an orphan, considering how she runs to you for everything."

"Tessa!" He jabbed a finger toward my face, fury and disbelief blazing in his eyes. "How can you say something like that? When did you become so unreasonable? You're coming with me to apologize today, no matter what!"

…

Aaron hauled me to the school like a prisoner being dragged into custody.

In the office, Vivian sat on the couch, sobbing.

Her parents sat beside her, their faces twisted with anger as they laid into the department head.

"Our daughter came to your school to study, and now she's been beaten like this for no reason. You owe us an explanation!"

The moment Vivian saw Aaron, she threw herself into his arms and pointed to the finger marks still visible on her face. "Professor Jefferson! Last night, I took you home, and your wife accused me of seducing you. Then she hit me like she'd lost her mind. My head hurts so much..."

The moment her mother spotted me, she shot to her feet and shouted, "So you're the trashy woman whose parents never taught her any manners! You laid hands on my daughter? You'll pay us at least twenty thousand dollars today, or this isn't over!"

I gave them a weary glance, then took out my phone and pulled up a photo I had saved from Vivian's social media.

She had posted it in the middle of the night and deleted it within seconds, but I had caught it in time.

The photo showed Aaron asleep beside her hospital bed while she leaned over to steal a kiss.

I zoomed in and shoved the screen in front of her parents. "Fine. Then let me ask you something too. How exactly did you raise your daughter? What kind of grad student behaves like this with her own professor?"

Vivian and her mother exchanged a glance.

Then her mother lunged at me and slapped me across the face. "You filthy woman! A gang of thugs used you and tossed you aside, and you still dare insult my daughter? Why didn't those men just finish you off back then?"

The room spun. I stumbled and fell to the floor.

The impact pulled at the wound in my lower abdomen, and the pain struck so hard that I could not make a sound. It took several moments for my vision to clear.

When it finally did, I found myself staring up at a circle of twisted, furious faces.

Worry flickered in Aaron's eyes when he looked at me, yet he still stood in front of Vivian and her mother, shielding them from me.

I scrambled to my feet and lunged at the woman, ready to return the slap.

An arm locked around my waist before I could reach her.

Aaron held me tightly. "Tess, calm down. You were the one who hit her first."

My eyes burned, and pain and fury tore through my chest. "Aaron, let go of me!"

Why did everyone get to use my scars to humiliate me? Why?

"Aaron, she hit me! Didn't you see that? Why did you tell them about what happened to me? Didn't you hear what she just said?"

My desperate sobs echoed through the hallway. Students coming out of class stopped to watch the commotion.

Clearly embarrassed, Aaron hauled me out into the corridor. "Go home first. I'm taking Viv to the hospital for a full checkup."

He shielded Vivian as he led her through the crowd.

Her mother turned back and suddenly grabbed me, yanking me backward.

I tumbled down the stairs and slammed hard into the ground. Pain shot through my body, so sharp that it felt as if my bones were breaking.

Aaron frowned at me for a moment, then quickly looked away.

He was ashamed of me.

A female student who could no longer stand by and watch helped me to my feet.

I thanked her, then made my way to Aaron's office.

A notification popped up on my phone, reminding me that my flight would begin boarding in 6 hours.

I took out the divorce agreement and placed it on his desk. Then I snapped a photo and sent it to him.

[I've signed my part. Aaron, let's get divorced.]