Chapter 5

"You don't get to say no to me. Not ever."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a folding knife.

"I'll give you two choices."

"Come give blood. Or I use this to take back the heart that was never yours."

Three years. Countless nights of suffering.

I'd thought about cutting the heart out myself and handing it back to Ethan more times than I could count.

But every time I picked up a knife, I thought of my mother. Stage-four cancer. Fighting every day to stay alive.

Every time, I told myself — hold on a little longer. For her.

A few more days. Then a few more.

Three years passed.

This time, I forced down every thought screaming inside me and gave in.

"Ethan. I'll go give blood for Lily."

Three full bags. I watched them drain out through the tube.

A deep cold settled over me.

My body shook without my permission. A high-pitched ringing filled my ears.

Just when I thought I was going to slip under, I heard Lily's voice — surprised, almost embarrassed.

"Mr. Shelton, Nina's health isn't good. Can she really give this much?"

"My doctor friend told me it was just my period coming on suddenly. You didn't have to rush like this."

The moment those words landed, I turned and looked at Ethan.

Tears slid down my face. Everything went black.

When I came to, I was in a hospital room.

I could hear nurses nearby, talking in hushed, excited voices.

"So romantic—"

"Mr. Shelton — he rented out a whole luxury yacht to propose…"

I sat up and pushed open the room door.

On the screen at the end of the hallway, Ethan's proposal video was playing on a loop.

Down on one knee, eyes full of love. It brought back something Vivian had told me once, quiet and bright-eyed, like she was sharing a secret.

"Nina, my brother likes you. He's been asking me what kind of proposal you'd want."

I'd told her I wanted it on a yacht.

Ethan had done it. Just not for me.

A sharp pain moved through my chest. My phone buzzed.

[Ms. Cole, your surgery is approaching. Do you still wish to proceed?]

I pushed through the crowd and typed back.

[Yes.]

At noon, the heart removal surgery went smoothly.

When I woke up on the operating table, my chest beat with a steady mechanical rhythm.

An artificial heart. One that wouldn't spike with grief or flinch with love.

For the first time in three years, I didn't have to hurt over Ethan anymore.

Tears ran down my face anyway.

My phone rang on the table beside the bed.

"Nina, Vivian's memorial is in three days. You know what you're supposed to do. Don't tell me you've forgotten."

Ethan's voice was cold and flat.

I turned to look at the heart sitting in a cooler beside me.

"I haven't forgotten."

Vivian had loved extreme sports.

Every year on her memorial, Ethan and his friends forced me to take on some kind of challenge in her honor.

For three years, I'd been terrified every time. And every time, I'd gritted my teeth and done it.

This year, I didn't have to force myself anymore.

Because I was about to give the heart back.

I stayed in the hospital until the day of Vivian's memorial. Then I checked out temporarily and made my way to the most exclusive private cemetery in the city.

I'd barely reached Vivian's grave when I heard Ethan's friends laughing nearby.

"Ethan, we found something for this year. You're going to love it."

"Nina's going to lose it when she sees what we picked."

"You'd better not go soft on her."

"Soft? On the person who killed Vivian?"