Chapter 1

Mom always said my sister was the little princess of our family, while I was a tough little monkey who could take anything.

So whenever my sister caused trouble, I was the one who got punished.

When she refused to eat vegetables, Mom made me skip dinner for three days.

When she played on her tablet instead of doing homework, Mom smashed my favorite Star Ranger figure.

When she climbed onto the windowsill to retrieve a toy, Mom made me stand outside in the sun all day.

Mrs. Parker from downstairs always praised her.

"You're such a wonderful mother. Most parents would have scolded their daughter."

Mom would tap my forehead and answer as though it were obvious.

"Boys are tougher. A little punishment won't hurt him, but my Lily should never have to suffer."

One Saturday, my sister and I were home alone.

She turned on the stove because she wanted to toast marshmallows.

Mom came home just as the burner clicked on.

Without asking a single question, she shoved me into the kitchen, opened a burner valve without lighting it, and told my sister,

"Lily, the next time you touch the stove, I'll punish your brother again. Let this teach you a lesson."

I pounded on the door and begged Mom to let me out.

The door never opened.

The rotten-egg smell grew stronger and stronger.

And my eyelids grew heavier and heavier...

Chapter 1

"Your sister was playing with the stove, and you didn't stop her. You deserve to be punished!"

Mom reached over and twisted one of the burner knobs.

A soft hiss filled the kitchen.

The rotten-egg smell rushed into my nose.

I coughed hard and tried to run outside.

Mom slammed the kitchen door in my face.

"Mom!" I threw myself against it and slapped both palms against the wood.

"I want to come out! It smells awful in here!"

Last week, Ms. Harper had shown us a safety cartoon in kindergarten.

She said leaking gas smelled like rotten eggs.

She said children who breathed too much of it might never see their moms and dads again.

I braced myself against the door and pushed with all my strength.

I finally opened a tiny gap and slipped one hand through, trying to grab Mom.

But she pressed her whole weight against the other side and shoved the door back.

"Ah!"

Tears burst from my eyes.

The door crushed my fingernail backward. It hurt even more than when I scraped my knee last time.

Warm blood ran down my finger and dripped onto my favorite Star Ranger slippers.

I stared at it for a second, then began to sob.

"What are you crying about?"

Mom's irritated voice came through the door.

"Boys are tough. So your finger got pinched. Stop whining like a baby. It's embarrassing."

"Mom, it really hurts..."

I clutched my bleeding finger as tears pattered onto the floor.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'll always stop Lily next time. Please let me out, okay?"

"Now you know you're wrong? Too late."

Mom gave a cold little snort.

"This punishment is for your sister to see. If she doesn't remember not to touch the stove, you can stay in there forever."

Then I heard my sister crying outside. She tugged on Mom's clothes and begged in a trembling voice,

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'll never touch the stove again. Please let Noah out. His finger is bleeding..."

"Oh, sweetheart, why are you crying?"

Mom's voice immediately softened for her.

"I'm doing this for your own good. Look how well behaved your brother is. As his big sister, you should set a good example too, shouldn't you?

"Remember this lesson. Children must never touch the stove. If you do it again, I'll punish your brother again."

I leaned against the door while the rotten-egg smell grew thicker and the pain pulsed through my fingertip.

The last time I earned perfect scores on two tests, Mom hadn't even touched my head or told me I did well.

But now that I was being punished for Lily, Mom called me good.

Chapter 2

The rotten-egg smell kept getting stronger, and my head began to spin.

I raised my hand and tapped the door again, my voice very small.

"Mom, I feel dizzy..."

"Stop pretending."

Mom scolded me from outside.

"You've only been in there two minutes. If you can't handle this much, how are you ever going to protect your sister?"

I didn't have enough strength to answer. Holding my injured hand, I staggered toward the window.

It was open just a crack.

I sat beneath it, but I still kept getting sleepier.

Click.

The sound pulled me partway out of the fog.

I looked up and saw that the wind had blown the window shut.

The bad smell filled the room again almost at once.

Another wave of dizziness rolled over me.

My eyelids grew heavier.

Then I remembered what Ms. Harper had told us the week before.

If you smelled rotten eggs, you must not go to sleep.

A hard shiver ran through me, waking me up a little.

I lifted my uninjured hand and knocked on the door for the second time.

My voice was much weaker now, soft and almost empty.

"Mom... my head is spinning, and my chest feels tight... please let me out..."

Outside, Lily cried harder. She stamped her feet and pulled at Mom until her voice turned hoarse.

"Mom, open the door! Noah is sick! I'll never touch the stove again. Please let him out!"

"Oh, my silly girl, why are you crying?"

Mom's voice was sweet and patient, without any of the anger she used on me.

"I know what I'm doing. I left the kitchen window open, and I barely turned the gas on. The breeze will carry it away. This is only to make sure you remember.

"Your brother is imagining things. Boys are sturdy. Ten minutes won't hurt him. Last time he fell while running with the neighborhood kids, his face was covered in blood, and he still bounced right back."

My nose burned, and I managed one faint sound.

"It isn't open... Mom, the window closed..."

No one answered me.

I forced myself to stand and tried to climb high enough to open it.

I stretched toward the silver handle, but it was far above me. My fingertips only touched the cold tile.

I dragged over the little plastic stool we used for the fruit basket and climbed onto it, wobbling, but I still couldn't reach.

The window had been replaced the month before.

Lily had climbed onto the sill to throw one of her dolls outside and had nearly fallen.

That day, Mom made me stand in the blazing courtyard for three hours because I hadn't watched her closely enough.

The next morning, she called a maintenance worker.

She had every window handle moved high above a child's reach.

Now I stood on the stool with my arm stretched until my shoulder hurt.

My fingers still couldn't touch the cold handle.

Tears landed on the back of my hand.

I slipped down from the stool and opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

All I could do was hit the door with my palm, making dull little thuds.

I heard Mom laugh under her breath and say to Lily,

"Look at your brother. Now he's giving me the silent treatment and pretending to be pitiful.

"Come on. Leave him alone for a while. I'll take you to buy the strawberries you wanted."

The front door opened.

Then it closed.

The whole apartment became silent.

The only sound left was my shallow breathing.

The rotten-egg smell grew stronger. My chest felt crushed, and I couldn't catch my breath.

The little red star Ms. Harper had awarded me yesterday slipped from my pocket.

It landed in spilled dishwater and became wet and wrinkled.

I had wanted to show it to Mom today.

Last year, when Lily earned a classroom star, Mom bought her a new toy.

Chapter 3

I didn't want a toy. I only wanted Mom to tell me she was proud of me.

I rested my head against the cold door.

I tried to lift my hand and knock one more time.

But before I touched it, everything turned black.

I was so tired. I needed to sleep.

Then my body felt light.

I felt like a soap bubble.

I slowly floated upward, with nothing solid beneath my feet.

When I looked down,

I saw my own body leaning against the cold kitchen door with its eyes closed.

The wet red star was still clutched in my hand, wrinkled like a tiny wilted sun.

I floated closer and tried to take it, but my fingers passed straight through.

Oh.

I had become a little ghost.

Just like the ones in cartoons, with no feet, floating everywhere while no one could see them.

Ms. Harper had been right. Children who breathed leaking gas could no longer touch their moms and dads.

I drifted through the crack beneath the door.

Mom was holding Lily's hand beneath the gazebo outside our building.

Mrs. Parker, who sometimes slipped me candy, stood beside them.

Mrs. Parker gave Mom a thumbs-up and smiled until her eyes nearly disappeared.

"Rachel, you're the most progressive mother in this whole building. Your ideas are so modern!"

Mom smiled broadly and stroked Lily's hair.

She spoke loudly enough for several women at the farmers'-market stand nearby to hear.

"Exactly. What year is this? Why should anyone still favor sons over daughters?

"My Lily is the treasure of my heart. Boys are tough, so a little punishment won't hurt. Noah needs rules now so he'll learn to take good care of his sister later."

The other women praised her too, calling her a model modern mother.

Mom looked very proud.

I floated beside her and stared at her smile.

I used to think Mom was prettiest when she smiled.

Now I only felt cold, like I was standing in snow without a coat.

Lily gripped Mom's shirt, her face frighteningly pale, and tugged at her hand.

"Mom, can we go check on Noah? I'm scared..."

"Scared of what?"

Mom pinched Lily's cheek, her voice dripping with tenderness.

"I told you the window was open. Your brother is tough. He's probably playing by himself already.

"Come on, I'll buy you the strawberries you wanted, and we'll go home after you eat them."

"No, Mom..."

Tears gathered in Lily's eyes.

"I heard Noah say the window closed. Can we please go back and check?"

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

Mom began to sound impatient.

A woman in a red jacket hurried over, looking alarmed.

"Did you hear what happened yesterday? A family in another apartment complex went shopping and left their child home alone. Gas leaked after the window shut, and the child died before they returned. The parents nearly collapsed. It was terrible."

The moment she finished, Lily burst into tears and pulled Mom toward the building with both hands.

"Mom! We have to go back! Noah is still in the kitchen! I need my brother!"

Mom stumbled when Lily yanked her, and the smile fell from her face.

She was about to scold Lily for misbehaving.

Then Mr. Dalton, the building security guard, came racing toward them on a maintenance cart with a bullhorn in his hand.

"Attention, residents of Building Three! We have a major gas leak. The alarms are going off at the management office. Everyone check your units immediately!"

Chapter 4

Mom's face went pale.

She stared toward Mr. Dalton and muttered stubbornly,

"That can't be right. I left the kitchen window open..."

The security guard spotted Mom and raised the bullhorn even higher.

"Rachel Stuart in Unit 2401? It's your apartment! We traced the readings floor by floor. The concentration is off the scale, and every gas detector in the building is sounding!"

Mom's knees buckled so suddenly that she nearly collapsed.

Her face had gone white, but she still insisted,

"That isn't possible. I opened the window. How could there be a leak..."

Before she finished, she grabbed Lily and ran toward the lobby.

She left the strawberries she had picked out sitting on the market stand.

The elevator was already on the first floor. She stabbed the close button so wildly that her trembling finger missed it twice.

Inside, Lily sobbed so hard that her braids came loose.

Mom looked terrified. For once, she forgot that Lily was usually the child she treasured above everything.

"All you do is cry! You little curse! None of this would have happened if you hadn't touched the stove!"

Lily sucked in a painful breath and bit her lip to keep quiet.

The elevator chimed.

The doors opened on the twenty-fourth floor.

A heavy rotten-egg smell rolled inside. Mom coughed twice, and her face turned even whiter.

I floated after Mom and Lily.

A crowd filled the hallway outside our apartment.

Police officers, building staff, and neighbors stood there with hands over their noses, craning to see inside.

Our front door had already been forced open. The bent lock hung crookedly and swung whenever the hallway air moved.

The moment Mom saw it, she lunged at the property manager and grabbed his arm.

"Who gave you permission to break my lock? This is trespassing! I'll sue you!

"You owe me a new door! That security door cost thousands of dollars. You're paying for it!"

Her shrieking echoed through the entire hallway. A neighbor nearby gave a sharp laugh.

She spoke just loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Weren't you downstairs bragging that you locked your son in the kitchen to teach your daughter a lesson?"

"You didn't care about your child, but now you're worried about a lock."

"Exactly. I heard her saying she was a modern mother who refused to favor boys. Apparently that means locking her son in a kitchen full of leaking gas while she goes out for strawberries."

The whispers stabbed at Mom like needles. Her face turned dark red.

She released the manager and raised a hand to argue with the neighbors, but the elevator chimed behind her again.

Dad rushed out carrying his work bag, sweat covering his face and one button of his shirt fastened in the wrong hole.

He turned pale at the crowd. When he saw Lily beside Mom, relief flashed across his face.

Then he seemed to realize someone was missing and grabbed Mom's arm.

"Rachel! Where is Noah? Building management called me over and over about a gas leak. He wasn't home, was he?"

Before he finished speaking, two emergency responders in protective gear carried a small stretcher from the kitchen, covered with a white sheet.

The shape beneath it was tiny.

I knew.

That was me.

The lead officer removed his stained gloves and walked toward Mom.

His expression was grave, and every word struck the hallway like a stone.

"Your son inhaled a lethal amount of natural gas. I'm sorry. He did not survive."