Chapter 1

I have a desperate lack of security, so after we started dating, I sent Samuel my location every day.

And I had to get his reply, or the anxiety from that missing sense of security would take over.

My boyfriend always replied promptly, twenty-four hours a day.

Don't worry, baby, your husband knows.

Waiting for you to come home. Enjoy the trip.

That sense of security cured my fear of marriage, and I married him in a million-dollar wedding gown I'd designed myself.

At three in the morning on our wedding night, I picked up my phone to check the time but my hand slipped, and I sent him my location.

The next second, his reply came in.

Your husband wishes you safety. Come home soon.

He was asleep right there on the pillow beside me, right after we'd been tangled together in passion.

I held my breath and unlocked the phone with his fingerprint.

And I saw the message his female coworker had sent him.

"Once is enough, don't wear yourself out. Remember to come find me during the day, the usual place."

"It's settled, you're going on the honeymoon with me. I've already put in for time off."

"I'll set up your automated reply during the day."

My heart began to pound wildly, and I pressed a hand to my chest.

My sense of security dropped to zero, and in its place came the anxiety...

1

I gasped painfully for air.

I stumbled toward the cabinet, tripping several times along the way.

Finally I got the drawer open, took out my medication, and swallowed three pills dry.

Sleepiness came fast, and I lay down on the bed and quickly sank into sleep.

When the cold woke me, it was already past ten.

But I was lying on the carpet, with no blanket over me.

Samuel was nowhere to be found.

I opened his wardrobe and found that the suit he'd had made a week ago was gone.

With trembling hands, I dialed Samuel's number.

"Cara, I woke up this morning and saw you sleeping so soundly, so I didn't disturb you."

"Weren't you supposed to leave on a business trip today?"

He kept his voice low, trying to sound calm, but that little catch in his breath couldn't get past my ears.

I opened my mouth, my voice hoarse.

"Yes, I'm leaving on the trip soon."

There were a few seconds of silence on the other end, then that indescribable rustling sound came through again.

This was only the second day of our marriage, and his true nature was already showing.

"Mm, send me your location whenever you're out, and I'll reply right away."

"Hanging up now, I'm busy with work."

Beep. The sound of the call ending came sharp and quick.

I stood frozen in place, and my phone slipped from my strengthless palm and fell to the floor.

Why?

I curled up in the corner searching for a sense of security, but my body shook harder and harder.

Once the pills stopped holding it back, my limbs went stiff, and even picking up my phone was a struggle.

It took three minutes before I could pin the phone between both hands and dial 911.

I have a severe lack of security. Without it, my worst anxiety disorder flares up, and my limbs start to stiffen.

I had to get to the hospital as fast as possible for electroshock treatment.

In the moment before the shock, I sent Samuel the hospital's location through my tears.

His reply came in instantly: My darling wife, it's the second day of our marriage, I miss you.

It was different from the old automated replies.

That woman must have set up a new reply for him.

I gritted my teeth and sent him a voice message for the first time.

"Samuel, I'm at the hospital seeing a doctor. I'm not on a business trip."

Again the reply came in a second later: Baby, your husband's waiting for you, love you, come home soon.

I used to only ever send him my location.

Anything else, I'd video call him or just call him directly.

I never imagined that something other than a location could still get me a reply this carefully designed.

Trembling, I sent another message.

"Samuel, I'm sick. I'm alone at the hospital. There's no one with me."