Chapter 2

"Instructor, Loretta's fainted."

The words had barely landed when another voice cut in.

"Anne's fainted too."

But the drill instructor only gave one order, telling someone to help Loretta over to the infirmary.

"Instructor, what about Anne?"

"Loretta has a medical file. She was never supposed to be doing this training at all. Nothing can happen to her!"

"As for Anne…"

He paused there on purpose before he finished.

"If she's so desperate to lie down, let her lie down. I'll call her parents to come take her home."

I could hear that he'd said it for my benefit.

He thought that would frighten me.

But I didn't even have the strength left to be afraid.

When I woke again, I had no idea how much time had passed.

Still, from the cool air around me, I could tell I was indoors.

Even so, my body felt terrible.

Every bone in me ached, and my skin burned as if it had been held over a flame.

I had been through this same pain a hundred times already.

And still it was more than I could bear.

I couldn't help frowning, wanting to move, only to find I had no strength at all.

Not even enough to lift my eyelids.

It was then that a voice finally came from beside me.

"Why hasn't this wretched girl woken up yet? She really can put on a show."

"If you ask me, she's just waiting until training's over to open her eyes."

It was my mother's voice, thick with complaint. Then her tone turned gentle.

"Loretta, are you feeling all right? I told you to go home and rest, but you insisted on staying here with her."

"She's an ungrateful little thing. She'll never thank you for any of it!"

The corner of my mouth twitched into a mocking smile.

Some acts, put on often enough, and even they could no longer tell what was real and what wasn't.

Listening to them talk, I suddenly remembered the day before training started.

The school's physical exam results had come out, and before I could so much as glance at mine, they'd snatched them away.

"We've already had someone change your name to your sister's, so be a good girl and go do the training. Let your sister rest."

I'd heard that kind of thing many times.

But I still couldn't stop myself from arguing.

"Mom, this is training. Two whole weeks. I can't make it through even one day, so how am I supposed to survive fifteen?"

"That's your problem to figure out."

She answered coldly, as if what I was raising with her was just some ordinary, trivial matter.

I fell silent.

Because I knew she would never change her mind, and nothing I said would make any difference.

Seeing that I'd gone quiet, she must have thought I'd given in.

Her expression eased a little.

"We're doing this for your own good," she told me.

"You know exactly what shape your body's in. To put it bluntly, you could be dead tomorrow."

"You were never going to live long in this world anyway. Sitting at home all day is no life. Go out and experience a little more of it."

That was what she said, but she had to have known.

These experiences didn't bring me any joy. They only brought me pain.

So I couldn't help but ask.

"Then what about my sister? There's nothing wrong with her body. Why doesn't she go experience all of that too?"

My mother rolled her eyes and said impatiently.

"How can you compare yourself to your sister?"

"She's the one who's going to support us in our old age. Of course we have to spare her the hardship."

In that moment, I finally understood why they doted on Loretta the way they did.

Simply because she had a healthy body.

While I was nothing but a useless thing that could die at any moment.

I finally opened my eyes and cut into their conversation.

My throat was raw as I got the words out.

"Mom, my body can't take it. If this training goes on, I'm going to die."