Chapter 1

My mate, Damian Thornwood, is the most gifted healer in the pack. However, he misses our pup's congenital heart surgery because he's busy bandaging a scrape for the pup of Erica Stanhope, his widowed childhood friend.

One day, while I'm packing my pup Noah Thornwood's school bag, I hear a faint sob coming from the little wolf plushie with a voice recorder that he carries everywhere.

"Wolfie, my heart hurts so much. Can you tell Daddy to come home?"

At Noah's follow-up appointment at the infirmary, the healer casually asks where his father is.

Noah presses a hand over the angry stitched scar on his chest and says in a small voice, "Ma'am, my daddy's busy taking care of another pup. He basically lives at Erica's house now."

Everyone around us looks at Noah and me with pity. I sit beside him, and nothing inside me so much as stirs anymore.

A month later, Damian finally remembers the surgery and wants to give his pup's heart a thorough checkup. Full of hope, he pushes open Noah's bedroom door with red-rimmed eyes, longing to hold his own pup.

The moment he steps inside, he sees Noah crouching on the rug and drawing a picture.

Noah looks up at him with ice in his eyes. "Mister, that's so rude. You're stepping on my daddy's funeral picture."

Chapter 1

"What did you just call me?"

Damian Thornwood froze, the scent of the infirmary's remedies still clinging to him. Everyone said he was the most patient healer in the entire pack, the kind who could coax even the most stubborn pups. Now, facing his own pup, his expression was thunderous.

"Is this how you raised him? He won't even acknowledge his own father. How is he any different from a rogue?"

"He does call for you." I set the medicine down on the table and lined up the boxes one by one. "Last month, he called for you for 40 minutes outside the operating room until his voice was gone."

Damian swallowed hard and looked away, guilt written all over his face. "I didn't mean to. Erica couldn't be left alone, and besides, Noah's fine, isn't he?"

Then he carried in a box wrapped in blue paper and tied with a perfectly neat bow.

"Noah, look what I brought you. When Kyle got one of these, he was so happy he rolled around on the couch. I bet you'll love it too."

Our pup, Noah Thornwood, looked at the box, his eyes lighting up with anticipation. This was the first time his dad had ever given him such a pretty present.

He eagerly opened the box, and a jack-in-the-box wolf sprang out, its jaws gaping wide as it let out a shrill howl. Noah jerked backward, and the back of his head hit the edge of the bed. His small hand clutched at the scar on his chest, and his lips went white.

I lunged toward him. The lights on his heart monitor jumped wildly as one red alarm blared after another.

"Mommy… I feel like I'm gonna throw—"

Before he could finish, the half glass of milk he'd had that morning came up all over my sleeve.

Damian rushed over to hold him, his voice shaking. "How did this happen? Kyle played with it just fine…"

"Obviously! Kyle never had his chest cut open. He never had heart surgery."

I lifted Noah's head and wiped the vomit from the corner of his mouth with the back of my hand.

"The healer said no scares and no loud noises for three months. I told you that five times over the phone, but you were too busy with Erica and Kyle."

Damian's expression shifted several times before he spoke, full of apology. "I really couldn't get away back then. Erica's raising Kyle on her own, and her mate died for the pack."

Noah's school bag hung on the back of the chair, the gray recording wolf plushie poking half its head out. I pulled it out and pressed the round button on its belly.

There was a crackle of static, and then Damian's voice came through, soft and gentle. "Good boy, Kyle. Once you finish your medicine, it won't taste bitter anymore. I'll unwrap a candy for you."

A shewolf let out a soft laugh. It was Erica Stanhope. "You're here every day. What about Noah?"

"Kyle lost his father to the pack. He has to come first. Noah has his mom looking after him, so he'll be fine."

The recording stopped, and the only sound left in the room was Noah's ragged breathing.

We'd bought the little wolf at the summer fair last year, and Noah said he would record everything he wanted to tell his dad on it. In the end, this was the only thing saved on it.

Damian's face went pale, then flushed.

A month earlier, Noah had gone in for congenital heart surgery. The day before, Damian had promised him in person, "I'll be there with you tomorrow, no matter what."

That morning, Noah sat outside the operating room the whole time with his eyes fixed on the elevator. Every time the doors slid open, his face lit up.

"Mommy, Daddy always keeps his promises, right?"

But Damian never came. Five minutes before the surgery, he texted me.

"Kyle has a checkup today. Erica can't handle it on her own, so I'm going with him for a bit. Tell Noah to be brave. I'll be there soon."

Right before Noah went into the operating room, he took the little wolf out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Mommy, I'm a little scared. When Daddy gets here, can you help me record his voice? I want to hear him while I'm in my hospital room too."

It was a full day and night before Damian finally came back. He showed up in the hospital room, heard what Noah wanted, and took the little wolf, but just as he was about to record something, a call from Erica pulled him away again.

When Noah woke up from the anesthesia, he switched on the recorder and found nothing on it. He looked at me, crushed. "Mommy, does Daddy not want me anymore because I'm always sick? Is that why he'd rather be with some other pup?"

Now Damian switched off the recording, his voice hoarse. "You don't understand. Erica and I grew up together. She's all alone now, so of course I have to help. Cut me some slack here. I can't let Erica down."

"And your pup? You don't think he feels let down?"

His phone rang just then, Erica's name flashing on the screen. He shot me a guilty glance and answered.

"Damian, can you please come back? Kyle's throwing things again and crying for you. I'm afraid he's remembering how his dad died…"

The moment her voice cracked, Damian was on his feet without a second's hesitation. "Don't panic. I'll be right there."

Noah twitched in my arms, his small hand reaching blindly for the leg of Damian's pants. Damian looked down and brushed the hand away. Noah slid out of my arms onto the rug, his body jerking twice more.

Damian paused for half a second and glanced back. "Take care of him for now. I'll be back soon."

He grabbed his car keys and walked out, and the door shut behind him. The jack-in-the-box wolf was still bobbing on the rug, its red mouth stretched in a grin.

I gave Noah his medicine, holding a glass of water in one hand and rubbing his back with the other. His heartbeat gradually steadied, but his eyes stayed on the door.

"Mommy, did Daddy go to comfort someone else's pup again?"

"Yes."

"Mommy, I'll leave the pack with you. But can we see Daddy one last time?"

A few days earlier, I'd applied to the pack elders to leave the pack. They gave us 15 days to think it over, and now there were 11 left. It didn't seem like we needed to think about it anymore, though.

Once Noah fell asleep, I opened the notes app on my phone. Tomorrow was the day to pick up the moonstone from the infirmary, a rare stone known for healing the heart.

I'd been on the waiting list for two whole months, and once it did its work, it wouldn't be long before Noah was a healthy pup again.

Chapter 2

At seven the next morning, Noah and I went to the pack's infirmary.

The young shewolf at the front desk flipped through the register, then stopped halfway. "Ma'am, Noah's moonstone… was reassigned three days ago."

"Reassigned?"

"Our chief healer, Damian, used his authority to pull it. The reason listed is emergency treatment for a badly injured pup who lost his father."

She turned the form around to show me. The signature was a sprawling scrawl, and I knew every stroke of it.

"If you want to get back on the waiting list, it'll be at least six months."

"What? Six months?"

The healer had told us that within three months of Noah's heart surgery, he needed to start wearing a moonstone as soon as possible to help him heal. If he missed that window, his body would never recover enough to be like other pups.

There was only one month left, and another six months on the waiting list meant there was no way we'd make it in time.

The color drained from my face, and my knees nearly gave out. The young shewolf caught me by the arm.

"Thank you."

"Ma'am…"

I didn't look back. Clutching the two pages, I stormed into the council hall.

The elders were in the middle of a meeting, and Damian was there too. When he saw me walk in, he frowned. "Whatever this is, we can talk about it at home. We're in a meeting."

"Did you take the moonstone?"

The room went silent.

Damian snapped his folder shut, his face the picture of righteousness. "I did. So what? Kyle fell off a swing that day and got a bad scare. He's been having nightmares every night, and that stone can actually help him. Besides, I only redirected resources temporarily to someone in more urgent need!"

"What about Noah? His heart was just stitched up. How is that not more urgent?"

"I won't let anything happen to him. I'll take care of his recovery myself from now on. Can you stop using his illness as an excuse to fight a widow and her pup over everything?"

He looked away, as if he couldn't stand to meet the eyes of someone as petty as me. All of a sudden, the whole thing struck me as absurd.

"From now on? How many more 'from now ons' do you have left for Noah? He's your own pup!"

Damian's expression darkened, but his voice stayed firm and unwavering. "That's exactly why I can't play favorites!"

Murmurs of agreement rose around the room, with elders saying Damian never let personal matters get in the way of his duty. A few others snuck glances at me, their eyes full of sympathy.

In the past, I would have teared up and argued with him at a moment like this, laying out every detail of Noah's condition one by one. Today, I didn't want to say a word.

"Erica is a widow raising a pup alone, so of course I'm going to do everything I can to help them! You're the one who's getting more unreasonable by the day. Noah's just a pup, and you're teaching him to draw my funeral picture to curse me. Erica does a far better job raising her pup than you ever have!"

My chest heaved with anger, and my fingers started to tremble. The room had gone completely quiet, and not even the elders stepped in to stop my outburst.

Then Damian froze. Noah was standing in the doorway, hugging his little wolf, and the righteous look Damian had kept so carefully in place slipped right off his face.

"Mommy, don't be mad. It'll make your heart hurt."

Noah stretched up on his tiptoes and gently rubbed my chest, the same way I always comforted him. My eyes stung as I crouched down and held him tight.

I turned and walked out, and once I'd left the council hall, my legs wouldn't stop shaking.

"Mommy, did Daddy give my moonstone to some other pup? Does that mean I'll never get better?"

I crouched in front of him, my nails digging into my palms. Just then, my phone lit up with a message from Erica.

"Thanks so much for the moonstone!"

She'd attached a photo of Damian with her and her pup, Kyle Merry. In the picture, the three of them looked like a real family. As I stared at it, the last bit of hope I had left flickered out.

I hurried to the head elder's office and knocked softly on the door.

Elder Ambrose Kettering looked up at me. "Have you made up your mind? Once you're removed from the pack roll, you and your pup will no longer be members of this pack."

"I have."

"And Damian…"

"He doesn't need to know."

Elder Kettering sighed and handed me the signed form.

Chapter 3

Elder Kettering asked me to attend one last pack dinner. Seeing the hope in Noah's eyes, I agreed.

Before the dinner, I put Noah in his soft cotton vest and fixed the heart monitor to his chest, then pulled a sweater on over it, which left a small bulge.

"Mommy, is Daddy coming?"

"I don't know."

He nodded and didn't ask again.

Just as the dinner began, Damian walked in with Erica on his left and Kyle holding his right hand. The moment the three of them stepped through the door, pack members at several tables rose to their feet.

"Damian really has a heart of gold. He's been looking after that widow and her pup for a whole year now."

"Look how close that boy is to him. If you didn't know better, you'd think they were a family."

"Isn't that one over there his actual pup?"

"Actual pup? His own dad won't even stand by him. The pup might as well be a bastard."

Noah gripped my hand even tighter.

Kyle ran over from the head table and circled Noah once, his eyes fixed on the bulge in Noah's chest. "What's that stuffed in your shirt?"

Noah didn't answer.

"Oh, I know! It's a dog tag!" Kyle clapped his hands and laughed, and the circle of pups around him burst out laughing too.

"Only cripples wear those. You're a cripple freak with a dog tag!"

Noah's ears burned bright red, and he ducked behind me.

Kyle took a step closer, tripped over his own feet, and fell to the floor, bursting into tears. "Mommy, he pushed me! He pushed me…"

Erica rushed over and pulled him into her arms, her eyes welling up on cue. "Noah, Kyle was just curious. How could you push him?"

"I didn't push him!" Noah clutched the hem of my shirt, his voice shaking.

"Kyle lost his dad, so he's already sensitive. What kind of mother teaches her pup to act like this?"

Damian walked over with the whole banquet hall watching him.

When Noah was three and first learning to write, his letters came out so crooked that he cried in frustration. Damian hoisted him onto his shoulders and spun him around the yard.

"That's my boy! You write better than I do!"

Noah grabbed fistfuls of his hair, giggling and shouting, "Giddyup, Daddy!"

Back then, Damian said that if anyone ever dared to pick on his pup, they'd have to go through him first. But now, he stood in front of Noah with a frightening scowl. "Apologize to Kyle."

"I didn't push him. He called me a cripple with a dog tag first."

"You're a big boy, so you need to be more considerate. Kyle's younger than you, and pups say the wrong thing all the time. You can't hold it against him. Besides, Kyle's not wrong. That heart monitor doesn't look good on you, so let's take it off for now!"

He bent down and reached for the heart monitor.

"Damian, what are you doing?" I tried to stop him, but he shoved me aside with one arm. "Noah could get seriously hurt without his heart monitor!"

The pack members watching started chiming in. "I heard that after heart surgery, you're supposed to wear the monitor every single day."

Damian spoke calmly. "I'm the chief healer. If I say he'll be fine, he'll be fine."

That shut everyone up.

Noah looked at me and asked quietly, "Mommy, can I take it off?"

Before I could answer, Damian stepped in and spoke to Noah gently. "Be a good boy. You need to be tough."

He hooked his fingers into the collar of Noah's sweater and yanked it off in one go, along with the soft vest and heart monitor underneath. The monitor hit the floor, its screen flickering twice before it went dark.

Noah swayed, one hand pressed to his chest so hard his knuckles turned white. He bit down hard on his lower lip and didn't make a sound.

"That's more like it." Damian patted Noah's head. "You're finally growing up. Don't be such a crybaby about it. Now apologize to Kyle."

"Damian! Enough! None of this is Noah's fault!" I pulled Noah behind me.

Damian dragged me aside, and I only managed to stay on my feet by gripping the edge of the table. Noah rushed to steady me, his eyes brimming with tears, then turned to Kyle and hung his head low.

"I'm sorry."

He picked the heart monitor up off the floor, turned, and walked back to my side.

"Mommy, I don't want to stay anymore. Let's go home."

Chapter 4

I started packing my suitcase as soon as I got home.

The next day, I stood the packed suitcase by the door with Noah's little school bag hanging from the handle and his recording wolf plushie tilting its head to one side.

"Mommy, Daddy said I don't need my heart monitor anymore, and he doesn't want me to say it hurts either. So from now on, even if my heart hurts, I won't say anything. I'm a good—"

The words caught in his throat. His mouth hung open as he gasped twice, and his body tipped to one side. By the time I caught him, his palms were ice cold, and his lips had turned purple.

"Noah? Noah!"

There was no response.

I wrapped him in a blanket and, still in my slippers, carried him straight to the infirmary.

The door to the on-call room was ajar. Damian sat inside, holding one of Erica's hands as he dabbed antiseptic onto her index finger with a cotton swab. The cut was barely a quarter of an inch long.

"That's what you get for being careless and grabbing the roses. Look, the thorn made it all red."

I burst through the door with Noah's head lolling against my arm. "Damian, save him! He can't breathe! It's heart failure!"

Damian glanced up and frowned. "Not this again. Do you even know where you are? Can't you at least pick a better place to fight for attention?"

"His heart's about to stop! Can't you see that?"

"You're overreacting."

But when he looked at Noah, the color drained from his face, and he quickly reached for his stethoscope.

Erica tugged at his sleeve and said softly, "Damian, look, Noah's fingers are still moving! Maybe he's just playing around with you? Kyle does that with me all the time."

Damian stiffened at that. He glanced at Noah's twitching fingers, and his expression darkened as he turned to me with barely contained anger in his eyes.

"Fighting for attention has its time and place. This is an infirmary, not a playground for you and your pup!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Do you have any idea what Noah's condition means right now?"

Damian lowered his voice. "Noah was perfectly fine yesterday, so don't even think about lying to me. Go home!"

He looked around at everyone nearby, his tone impatient. "Noah's my pup. I would never take chances with his health. Besides, if Erica's cut doesn't get treated, it's going to get infected!"

Erica pulled her hand back a little, her voice small. "Maybe… you should go check on him first?"

"There's no rush. Let's finish taking care of yours."

The corners of Erica's mouth twitched upward. "But Noah looks really bad…"

"It's fine. He can handle it!"

Damian put his arm around Erica and led her into the exam room. When the door slammed shut, Noah flinched, and his breathing grew shallower by the second.

I held Noah tight and hurried to pound on the next door. "Hurry! A healer! We need a healer!"

In the end, Healer Gabriel Brown, who was on the night shift, came running down the stairs so fast he lost one of his shoes. "Get him to the emergency room right now!"

In the emergency room, Healer Brown and three other healers fought to save Noah for a full hour. His heart stopped once, and they barely managed to drag him back. The machines in the room were beeping all at once, and the line stayed flat for a long time before a small blip finally rose again.

"Noah?"

I patted his cheek, and the sight of his small, pallid face broke me. I burst into tears.

"Noah, say something to me. Please, Noah, just move your fingers."

Two hours later, Healer Brown took off his mask, his forehead covered in sweat. "Ma'am, you need to prepare yourself."

I braced myself against the wall, my legs shaking uncontrollably. "Go on."

"He'll live, but the damage to his heart is too severe. He may never be able to shift, and he'll always be a weak wolf."

My ears started ringing as Healer Brown went on. "He also suffered a severe shock, so there could be problems with his speech."

I nodded, my heart aching, and stroked Noah's little face. "Healer Brown, I need to ask you for a favor."

As soon as I left the emergency room, I spotted Damian in the distance. He was slowly coming out of the exam room with the box of antiseptic swabs still in his hand, Erica clinging to his arm.

His voice was gentle. "Don't get the cut wet. Just because it's small doesn't mean you can be careless with it."

I walked up to him, and the mate mark on the back of my neck throbbed with heat. Eight years ago, under the moon, he'd bitten that mark into me and promised to protect Noah and me for the rest of our lives.

I closed my eyes, clenched my jaw, and said it silently in my head. "I reject you, Damian Thornwood."

Pain burned from the back of my neck all the way to my heart. The coppery taste of blood rushed up my throat, and I forced it back down.

Damian clutched his chest and dropped to his knees, his face so pale he barely looked human. He looked up at me in disbelief. "Why? Why would you—No! I don't accept it!"

Then he saw the pale little face on the stretcher behind me, and he went white. Damian braced himself against the wall as a sense of dread washed over him.

"What happened to Noah? I'll operate on him right now!"

"Two hours ago, what were you doing?" I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth and looked down at him. "Damian, you killed your pup with your own hands."