Chapter 2

After leaving the bathroom, I didn't go to the NYU interview location. Instead, I turned and walked toward Oxford University's classroom.

When I entered with that ridiculous head, the examiners were clearly taken aback.

I took a deep breath and focused on answering questions.

Perhaps it was my composure, or perhaps the answers themselves.

The examiners' gazes moved away from my hair and turned into approving nods.

"Evelyn, we look forward to seeing you on campus in September."

Walking out of the classroom, my palms were sweaty and my heart raced.

Chase and I had agreed to go to New York together for a long time.

This tacit agreement had once been my motivation to study hard.

But just now, after sending that text to Mom in the bathroom.

I had already decided that my future life plans would no longer include him.

That evening, both families had dinner together.

Mom and Aunt Riley spoke in low voices, then left for the bedroom.

Chase sat across from me, distracted. Finally, he couldn't resist asking:

"How did the interview go?"

I kept my head down. "Pretty good. The professor looks forward to seeing me on campus."

His expression changed. He put down his chopsticks:

"With your grades, getting into NYU is no problem. Why did you have to compete for this guaranteed admission spot? That's too selfish."

Selfish?

I looked at his handsome face and only felt it was absurd. I pulled my lips into a smile.

"My hair was cut like this, and you're still worried my score is higher than hers?"

The boy recoiled as if burned, hastily retorting:

"What do these two things have to do with each other? I was just afraid something would happen to Vivian during their prank."

"She's different from you. She's so pretty—what if she met bad people on the street?"

She's different from you.

Six simple words, yet they made my heart ache so much.

I numbly nodded. Just then Mom and Aunt Riley came back, eyes a bit red.

So I got up to go home with her.

Chase's mind grew more chaotic. He grabbed my wrist and asked:

"What were they just talking about?"

It had been a long time since he'd had physical contact with me.

Probably found it disgusting.

I paused, then pulled my hand back.

"Nothing much."

I looked at his uneasy eyes.

"Probably just worried about our future."

Chase.

We have no future anymore.

The next day at school, when I walked into the classroom, everyone looked at my ridiculous hair.

"Pfft—the pig changed her hairstyle!"

"The fatty's pretty trendy. Got herself a perm hahaha."

Laughter burst from the group of boys.

Chase was among them, pulling his lips into a smile.

When our eyes met, the curve of the boy's mouth froze just like that.

My heart felt like it had been stung by a bee. I looked away and ignored all the voices.

Walked to my seat and took out my textbook.

The bell rang. The homeroom teacher announced one final rotation of class officers.

I walked up to the podium with my ridiculous head.

Throughout, the boys' snickering and mockery below never stopped.

My hands were shaking, but I still firmly delivered my speech from memory without notes.

As I bowed, the homeroom teacher was the first to applaud, and the girls gradually followed.

Just when I was breathing a sigh of relief, Vivian suddenly stood up and walked onto the podium.

She wore a short skirt, her long hair flowing.

A stark contrast to my disheveled state.

Vivian held a piece of scrap paper and casually said a few words about wanting to serve everyone.

She even stumbled in the middle. The girl blushed and stuck out her tongue while the boys below laughed indulgently.

I couldn't laugh.

Voting, vote counting.

Vivian and I had the same number of votes.

The teacher looked at Chase: "Where's your vote? You can't abstain. Cast one more."

The whole class's attention focused on that corner.

Chase pressed his lips together and stood up.

He was tall, his school uniform casually unbuttoned, walking step by step toward the podium.

Sunlight outlined his lean silhouette.

I stared at him, my eyes burning and stinging.

Though I no longer held any hope for him.

A small voice in my heart still whispered.

What if?

What if he remembered elementary school, when he was the one who pushed the crying me onto the podium, when he bought candy and gave it to classmates to vote for me, when he smiled even brighter than me after I was elected, saying "our Evelyn is number one."

What if he still remembered that I once said being class president made me feel not so useless.

The boy walked to the podium and handed the folded note to the teacher.

The teacher unfolded it, glanced at it, and announced:

"Vivian 25 votes, Evelyn 24 votes."

"The new class president is Vivian. Evelyn, do the handover after class."

I sat on the stool for a long time, motionless.

The surrounding sounds faded away, leaving only the dull ache in my heart.

Chase had returned to his seat. He didn't look at me. His profile showed no clear expression.

I lowered my head. Tears fell in large drops onto my textbook.

The girl sitting next to me panicked and kept patting my back to comfort me.

Ten years.

I'd been class president for almost ten years, from needing him to bribe classmates for me to get elected, to later winning recognition through my own ability.

He knew better than anyone what this position meant to me, a fat girl living under strange looks.

It was the little bit of pitiful self-confidence I had carefully constructed.

But he didn't hesitate to pull even that away.

For Vivian.

I was so sad I couldn't even say "I'm fine."

The little boy who bought me candy to win votes had already died in my memories.

The Chase of now was the baseball team captain, a top student, the cheerleading captain's romantic interest.

Just not my Chase anymore.