His Five Loves Are All Me

I stared at the glowing screen of my phone in the dead silence of my apartment, the blue light harsh against my exhausted eyes.

It was past 2:00 AM, and a trending thread on Reddit’s r/TrueOffMyChest had suddenly snagged my attention. The original poster was claiming, with absolute, agonizing sincerity, that he had fallen hopelessly in love with five different women. All in the exact same day.

He went into excruciating detail about the objects of his newfound affection: the young barista at the local boba shop, the DoorDash girl, his morning Uber driver, a quirky TikTok streamer, and…