I Popped Champagne After My Mother’s Car Crash

My mother had gone to all the trouble of making me a pot of homemade chicken soup. On her way to my apartment to deliver it, she got into a massive car wreck. That very night, she was wheeled straight into the ICU.

Meanwhile, I was throwing an absolute rager.

The video of me popping champagne bottles hit the internet, and the public outrage was instantaneous.

"Holy shit, what kind of psycho does this? Did a dog eat your conscience? Your mom is fighting for her life in the ICU, and you're popping bottles? Even animals treat their parents better!"