Keeping Promises to His Ex, Not Me

Don Petty is a man of ironclad principles. When he makes a promise—no matter what it is—he'll definitely honor it.

So when his ex-girlfriend, Taylor Stapley, shows up clutching a stack of long-expired relationship coupons, he honors each and every one of them.

"This is a 'Movie Time' coupon. You promised to watch this re-release with me."

So he abandons me, his fever-ridden wife, to spend the entire night at the movie theater with her.

"This is a 'Let's Go On a Trip' coupon. You promised we'd take a trip every year."