My Useless Husband Fired Me Today

The night my wife left for her business trip, her assistant sent me a photo.

In it, the two of them lay tangled in a mess of white hotel sheets, fast asleep. He had even added a smug, provocative caption: Hey bro, your wife’s got great technique. She’s mine now.

I didn’t reply.

Instead, I opened our company’s Slack workspace. There were two hundred and thirty-six people online.

I uploaded the photo to the general announcement channel and typed:

“Congratulations to our executive assistant, Tim, on his outstanding performance.