The Baby Trap Backfired

To help my wife, Mia Lowell, through labor, I blew a fortune on the latest paternity-linked pain transfer device.

Right before she went into the delivery room, Mia grabbed my hand. Tears streamed down her face.

"Honey, if it gets too painful, turn it off. I can't stand watching you suffer."

A nurse gave me one last reminder.

"Sir, the device automatically transfers the pain to the baby's biological father through DNA matching. Please be prepared."

The device switched on.

I felt nothing.

Not a twinge.